


Take me with you

by Themoonshalldie



Category: Star Trek, Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - 21st Century, Attempt at Humor, Jim Kirk Loves Space, M/M, POV Multiple
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-03-04
Updated: 2018-06-11
Packaged: 2018-09-28 07:21:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 23,241
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10079291
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Themoonshalldie/pseuds/Themoonshalldie
Summary: Jim wants to be an astronaut, but he gets rejected three times before they tell him he's never going to get into the program. Dreams shattered and heartbroken he settles for a job in the astronomy field. He is slowly losing hope of ever reaching space, when he wishes on a star.Aka the fic where Spock crash lands on Earth in the 21st century.





	1. The first meeting

**Author's Note:**

> I have returned with a Star Trek fic, during my exam season.
> 
> Also, I have no knowledge of how space works and I am blancing like 10 wikia pages trying to pin this on the Star Trek timeline.
> 
> Enjoy!

James T. Kirk wanted to be an astronaut. As a kid he had told everyone who was (or wasn’t) willing to listen. People told him to follow his dreams, because that’s what you tell a kid. Once you grow up, however, life becomes a little less forgiving when it comes to your dreams and aspirations. People slowly started growing wary when his will to go to space didn’t leave. He was a genius, he could be the most successful scientist, doctor- anything he wanted. That’s what they desperately told him. But not an astronaut. He was never going to be an astronaut. Did Jim listen? No, of course he didn’t listen. He specialized in science, astronomy, biology- any field that could get him into space. He tried internships at NASA, he worked hard on building connections. Despite everyone screaming for him to please give up before it was too late he kept pushing, he kept pushing and pushing.

 He was rejected the first time he applied, and the second. When he showed up for the third time they told him it wasn’t going to happen. He had too many allergies, the results of his psychological evaluation weren’t stable enough; he was not fit for space travel. The realization he was never going to be able to go to space downed on him that night, as he looked at the glow in the dark stars on his ceiling. The green stars blurred into one glowing blob as he felt his eyes tear up. He was 25, he had worked for this for 15 years, wanted this for 20. Of course he hadn’t listened when everyone told him. He didn’t know his chest could hurt so much, didn’t know it was possible for someone to feel this angry, lonely and disappointed. Space was where he belonged, he could feel the pull of his heart, could feel it in his veins.

 And that’s how he became Jim, the neighborhood failure. His optimism had made the crash all that harsher. Everyone knew of his dream, he had broadcasted it, all of Iowa was aware that the weird Kirk guy wanted to be an astronaut. And now all Iowa was aware his plan had crashed and burned. The amount of ‘I told you so’ he heard the following weeks were nearly too much to handle. He couldn’t count all the bar fights he’d gotten into on two hands, or even four. He had to leave, he couldn’t handle the stares and the whispers. He packed up his stuff, ripped the stars off his ceiling and chucked them in the bin with a bitter curl of his lips as he remembered all the sleepless nights he had spent looking up at them. He left for Washington, D.C. The plan being that he’d work for NASA as an astronomer. Except he never applied, his heart ached every time he opened the website, his chest constricted painfully every time he looked up at the sky. He couldn’t bear to be reminded of the vast space above his head anymore, it hurt to love something you could never reach.

 Man, did he love space. He loved the stars, the planets, he loved the unknown, the things they hadn’t discovered yet. He loved the science behind it, he loved the way it took his breath away every time he looked up at the night sky. He loved the possibility of others being out there, other beings. He loved. He loved so much, so often and so intensely. But with every wave of affection came a sharp stab of pain, and he couldn’t look up at the sky anymore.

 He got a roommate after a while because he couldn’t pay rent on his own; he still hadn’t applied for the job. His name was Leonard, a man who was just as heartbroken as he was. They fit together well, both miserable from the lovers that had betrayed them. Leonard’s wife had taken everything in the divorce, and NASA had taken space from him by turning him down. They drank together a lot, but the man was a doctor so it was alright. He also helped him pay rent sometimes, when he came home dunk instead of with a job. Jim didn’t know what to do. He didn’t search for a therapist either, he couldn’t do it, couldn’t own up to having wasted 20 years of his life on a dream. He did to Leonard, though, told him everything after the man had told him about the divorce. He remembered clearly how the doctor had put a drunken hand on his shoulder. He’d said: ‘Kid, those people wish they loved something as much as you love space.’

 There was no day that went by that he didn’t ache, but eventually he had to put a stop to his ‘sex, beer, cigarettes’ lifestyle, his debts were only growing and if he kept it up he would find no way out anymore. And so he took off his leather jacket and threw it out of the widow- which was probably illegal, seeing as their apartment was on the 10th floor. He also remembered his phone had still been in that jacket a minute or two later. He applied for the job, got it quickly of course, he was a genius, after all. A job behind a desk suited him best, even NASA thought so. He thought the pain would fade over time, but every time he looked at the stars his throat would tighten. He longed for the warm summer nights he had spent sitting on the roof of his old house as a teenager. Life was simple then, he only had to believe in himself. He only had to believe he would get what he deserved if he just worked for it hard enough. He would stare up at the stars and constellations for entire nights, breathless and in love.

 But he learned to cope, or rather, pretend he was happy with how his life was going, fool himself into thinking so even though he still felt alien among his own kind, on this earth. He drank with Leonard, grinded away days at his desk, he mostly did the dirty work of the senior astronomer he was still working under. The team he worked in was nice, however, he like his colleagues, they quickly became his friends, along with some people from other departments. It seemed NASA had wanted to hire as many young geniuses as they could. The youngest intern was seventeen years old, a cute Russian named Chekov. As he was putting calculations in the computer he wondered if he would ever get used to the idea that this would become where he’d spend his life.

 “Hey, gloomy face, want to come to the club with us later?” Jim looked up to see Uhura, face breaking into a grin. “Is that a date proposal?”

 Jim always wondered just how Uhura could roll her eyes like that and not lose them in the back of her head.

 “If your dates consist of five people and a bunch of sweaty dancing strangers, then sure, that is a date proposal,” Uhura’s voice was dripping with sarcasm, and Jim laughed.

 “Still waiting on that date, then,” he finished up the program after looking at the clock, his shift was almost over. Uhura had already started to walk away, “in your dreams, Kirk.”

 In his dreams, indeed. He sighed, getting up and stretching, he hated all the sitting he had to do. He hated that the most of all about this job, the endless sitting. He went back to the apartment to change for the night out, and wondered if he could drag Leonard out with him. “Doc, you home?” He didn’t get a response and sighed, figuring he was at the hospital.

 His phone rang in his pocket and he took it out to see it was his mom, he sighed softly and answered. “Hey, mom.”

 “Hey Jimmy, are you visiting soon? I kind of miss you, you know.” She sounded tired, she always sounded tired. He’d been putting off his trip home, but he knew he had to visit again soon, he hadn’t seen his mom for two years, not since leaving Iowa.

 “I’ll visit as soon as I can get time off from work, alright?” He leaned against the wall, staring into the apartment. He listened to her excited talking before telling her he had to go, hanging up the phone. It would be a pain to see all those people again. They would make snide comments, twist the knife a little deeper. Or even worse; they’d look at him with pity. God, if there’s anything he hated it was pity.

 He went into his bedroom to change for the night out, wondering  if life was going to get any easier anytime soon.

 He took the train back to Iowa, not wanting to bother driving for 16 hours straight. He wondered if the motorcycle he’d left behind at the train station when he left was still there. It was, actually, but it was covered in rust. He tried to get it to work, and eventually succeeded. It probably wasn’t safe to use anymore, but he’d deal with problems when they’d arise.

 “Alright you old rust bucket, let’s get you home.” He murmured, before heading to his childhood home. He’d missed his motorcycle, crossing down the country roads, the speed limit something that only occupied the back of his mind. Once home his mom hugged him tightly, and he couldn’t help but smile. He and his mom had always been on a rocky foundation, but all the fights and stepdads aside, he knew she loved him no matter how much of a fuckup he was. He’d left home when he was nineteen, so he was wary of stepping into his old room, probably still plastered with space. It hurt to see his dreams stalled out around him, to open the curtain and look at the familiar view of the sky.

 His visit filled him with nostalgia that tasted bittersweet, and during his last night there, looking up at the old glow of the dark stars on his ceiling, he couldn’t take the weight on his chest anymore. He sighed, getting up and dressing himself. He silently left the house and walked along the road, the silence of the night comforting him. The moon casted a comforting glow on the scenery around him, but it was incredibly dark otherwise. He could see the sky above like he used to when he was a kid and teenager. It was nothing like the light polluted sky in the city he now lived. It filled him with that silent sense of hope, body reaching for how he had felt when he was younger. His heart ached with love for the constellations he could see, and his lips twitched when he saw a falling star. He felt his eyes burn and sighed. “Take me with you.” He whispered to the star, as a final plea. He’d wished to a hundred stars in his lifetime, they hadn’t helped his cause. But still, he couldn’t help hope that maybe this was the one that would fix everything. He wandered away from the road and into the fields, searching for the spot in the high grass he used to stargaze in.

 He sat down with a groan and leaned back on his hands before looking back up at the sky.

 

 Wait, shouldn’t that shooting star have passed by now? Why the fuck was it growing bigger?

 

“What thE FUCK-” He scrambled to his feet, nearly falling over in his haste to move out of its path. Was this the way he died? At least it was at the hands of space. The meteor (he thought that was what it was at least) passed by several feel above his head, he could feel the heat radiating off of it, and he only then noticed his mouth was open.

 The ball of fire landed probably half a mile from him, crashing into the trees there. He could only see huge plumes of smoke rise from between the trees, and he really hoped they wouldn’t catch fire. His feet started carrying him towards the smoke, slowly, first, before he started running. He ran like he’d never ran before. “I said take me with you not nearly kill me by falling on my head.” He breathed as he ran, mind buzzing with the samples he could take, the experiments he could do and the calculations. This wasn’t a predicted meteor crash- he would have known. They hadn’t even seen this one coming, the area would have been cleared.

 When he finally arrived he had to gulp in air to catch his breath, not a good combo with the fumes still coming off of the meteor- except that was a really weird shape for a meteor. He looked on with wide eyes as it cooled off, revealing something that was definitely not a rock. He fumbled for his phone to turn on the flashlight, not able to see clearly in the dark. The light shook as his hands did as well. He couldn’t quite tell from the wreck but it seemed to be some kind of rocket? No, definitely not, he just didn’t know what it could be. It wasn’t bigger than a bus, but he’d never seen this kind of space craft before. His brain was running so quickly it felt like his thoughts were stumbling over themselves. His heart jumped into his throat when he saw what he assumed to be a door open. Before his brain could catch up with what was happening a figure stumbled out, coughing.

Something inside the craft exploded, leaving the wreck in flames. His hand fell to his side, the flames illuminated the surroundings enough. His eyes fixed on the person that had stumbled out of whatever this was, his brain felt like it had short-circuited. “Uh, what the fuck?” He heard himself say.

 

Very eloquent, Jim, good job.

 

The stranger looked up in shock, and Jim thought he was going to faint. Said stranger had a rather ridiculous bowl cut and pointy ears. He was dressed in robes of a kind he had never seen before, but they shimmered in the glow of the fire.

“Oh my god, what the fuck.” He murmured, as the- whatever it was stared at him with no discernable emotion on their face. “Who are you!? Is this a joke, because this is not funny.”

 

No response.

 

“Okay listen here you- you look like you had a mechanical rice picker accident as a child and If this is a joke I will personally see to it that you end up under several more. You can’t just do this to me when I’ve given up on ever coming in contact with space.” His mind was racing a thousand miles per hour and he just.. Couldn’t grasp any of this.

The stranger opened his mouth to talk, but the language that came out was not one he’d ever heard. It was a male voice, at least he now knew the stranger’s gender. He was sure his face read absolute shock and confusion.

Okay, think rationally. This alien looking guy fell from space in a space craft of which the design was not one he had ever seen before- he knew every design of space craft ever made on earth. They couldn’t understand each other- maybe it was just a strange Russian dialect? He opened google translate, and strode up to the guy, who’s face still did not betray anything. He shoved his phone in front of his face, and watched him flinch and look at him with what he assumed to be confusion. He nodded to the device and the man said something again. He looked at his phone and sighed when the ‘language not detected’ popped up.

He pocketed his phone and frowned at the guy in front of him, who looked back at him. He then pointed at the person’s chest, and then up at the sky, looking at him questioningly. The pointy eared man seemed to understand, and nodded.

Jim couldn’t believe it, his head had trouble keeping up with his heart, which was already beating faster with the possibility. Just one more thing before this was actually legit. Just one more thing. He reached up to touch the stranger’s ear. He just had to see if it was real. The man flinched, stepping away, but not before he’d been able to lightly tug on it.

 

It was definitely a real ear.

 

He was freaking out as the stranger turned back to assess the damage of his craft, of which the flames had sort of gone down by now. He didn’t know how long he stood there as the stranger went over the craft damage.

 Jim was definitely not a comfortable silence kind of guy. “Okay, so, you’re an alien. You’re a fucking alien. And I can’t understand you and you can’t understand me.” The guy ignored him as he started salvaging parts and things from the ship. “I can’t ask you where you’re from, I can’t ask you to take me with you- but I wished on a fucking star and I got an alien in a spaceship dressed in some sparkly robes so for fucks sake if that’s a thing that happens then I get to go to space.”

He took a deep breath, and was about to continue his rambling when the stranger opened a panel and switched something on. Jim frowned in confusion as the man walked up to him, and let out a yelp as he got lifted onto the alien’s shoulder- with ease, he might add. He didn’t bother struggling, he was not going to let this guy go. He could carry him to his secret underground lab and he wouldn’t mind. But when he started running Jim wondered why exactly. When they were a few hundred yards away an explosion had him covering his ears, muttering a Jesus under his breath. He watched the trees surrounding the now destroyed craft catch fire. He could only assume the man had destroyed the evidence of his crash.

 The alien put him down once they were near the spot he had sat down to stargaze, and he looked up at the stranger. “Okay, I’m taking you home.” He murmured, grabbing the alien by his sleeve and heading back to the road with him. Someone would probably call the police if they saw him in the morning. He’d have to put him in some normal clothes and figure out how they could communicate. Maybe he should call NASA to tell them he found one of the most important things to have happened to humanity to date, but he didn’t really want to. Maybe later. Maybe.

 The walk back consisted mostly of him filling up the silence with his rambling, with the guy next to him looking progressively more amused, or agitated, he couldn’t really tell which. His heart was beating so loud he could hear it in his ears, and when they arrived at his home he made a shushing motion, even though the stranger hadn’t said a word since he’d made him talk into his phone.

 He lead them inside and up to his old room, where the alien looked around, intrigued. Or he thought, at least, you really didn’t know with this guy. They stood across from each other for a while, and Jim really didn’t know what to say, he eventually pointed at himself. “Jim.”

 The alien seemed to understand. “Jim,” he repeated.

 Jim grinned, nodding in affirmation. The stranger then pointed at himself. “Spock,” he said, voice clear as he regarded him with brown eyes.

 “Spock,” he repeated, and the guy nodded, though his face remained the same. Finally a name to the face, he supposed. Spock clasped his hands behind his back and studied the space posters in his room, as Jim sat down on his bed. Well, shit, now he had an alien in his room.

 Once Spock had satisfied his curiosity concerning the interior of his bedroom he sat down behind his desk and got what seemed to be a little device out of his robe, along with a case full of tiny tools. He started working on the device, which earned him plenty of curious glances from Jim.

 He was frustrated he couldn’t communicate with Spock, knowing how much the guy could tell him. They sat there for maybe an hour or two before Spock’s device did something, a hologram appeared from what seemed to be the handle, making for a.. He supposed it was a tablet of sorts. He gasped, standing up to walk up to Spock and look at it more closely. The guy looked up as he leaned over his shoulder, looking at the screen. It seemed to all be in a foreign language, probably the same unknown language that Spock had spoken.

 He couldn’t take it anymore, he wanted answers, he wanted to talk to Spock. He grabbed a piece of paper and a pen, drawing a stick figure with pointed ears and a planet with a question mark, hoping he would get it. Spock stared at it for a while, seemingly amused, before he picked up the pen and drew a planet, with under it a desert, and a big sun. Jim’s skin buzzed with excitement, and he grinned at Spock. He pointed at the device in Spock’s hand, before taking out his phone and taking a picture of the edge of the desk. He pointed at the picture, then at Spock’s drawing, before pointing at the device again. Spock’s eyebrow raised, and he looked like he wasn’t going to comply, or didn’t understand, but when Jim clasped his hands together and sent him a desperate look he exhaled in a louder manner than before, almost like a sigh. His fingers flew across the screen until a picture appeared of red sands, as far as you could look, and what looked like a very hot sun. It was like nothing he’d ever seen before, and his eyes widened as he glanced up at Spock.

 His excitement must have been apparent, because Spock scrolled to another picture showing a city, in the midst of the red desert. A grin broke out on his face, and he could barely keep from bouncing around. This was out there, this place with other beings was out there, what other planets could there be? Were there even more kinds of beings that this species knew of? How long had they been able to space travel- and how did they get from their planet to Earth? Their planet definitely had to be far away if they had never seen it, were they just really old? Or did they invent a way to travel faster than light? The questions bounced around in his head until they blended together in a big mess. Spock had turned back to his device and seemed to be typing something, though he wasn’t sure. A while later Spock held it closer to his face and gestured for him to talk.

 “Um, what are you trying to do?” He said, and watched as big letters appeared on the screen. ‘ENGLISH’ they said, with a bunch of other words in the unfamiliar language behind it. Spock pushed a few more buttons before standing up to put an earpiece in his ear before doing the same to himself.

 “You should now be able to understand me.”

 “Holy shit, what is this!?” He was sure his eyes were wide as he looked back at Spock, who now seemed to speak English.

 “It is a universal translator.” Damn, Spock’s voice was nice, now he could actually understand what he was saying.

 “That, is really cool,” he breathed, which made Spock raise an eyebrow. “The universal translator is a technical program, it cannot have a certain temperature.” He said, which made Jim laugh. “It’s another word for exciting.”

 “Fascinating,” Spock said with the tilt of his head.

 Jim had to sit down again for a little as he tried to wrap his head around this situation, but Spock seemed to not be very fazed by all this. “I sent a priority signal for help, but it will probably take about-” Jim looked up when Spock’s voice went back to the incomprehensible language from earlier. He noticed the guy’s tablet had stopped working again and assumed this was the reason. Spock eventually noticed he wasn’t responding and looked down to see his broken device.

 Spock frowned, as if looking at it in a stubborn manner would make it work again, before taking a loud breath and sitting down to work on it again. Jim glanced at the clock and noticed it was already four in the morning. He yawned, which made Spock look up, seemingly startled. “I’m fucking tired, how are you so awake?” He said, not even caring Spock couldn’t understand him.

 The alien, tilted his head, and Jim decided to just lay down. But how could he ever hope to fall asleep? There was someone of another species inside his room, there were other beings out there, that could travel space in a much more efficient way than they could. He was afraid that if he closed his eyes the stranger would vanish, that this was just a dream or that he would simply leave.

 Jim decided his guest should sleep, as well- he didn’t even know if he needed to sleep at all, but he decided he didn’t care. A groan left him as he got up, tugging on Spock’s robe and ushering him to the bed. The man seemed incredibly reluctant but didn’t resist, simply sitting on the bed when Jim pushed him onto it. He then made a sleeping motion with his hands, making Spock take another one of those loud breaths. At this point he didn’t know if he even had emotions, but he assumed so, judging from the sighs and eyebrow raises.

 Spock lied down on his back, near the wall, and looked at Jim incredulously when he lied down next to him. “What, do I look like have an extra bed in here?” He then realized he knew nothing of this guy’s culture and that he might have initiated some kind of weird mating ritual.

 But Spock simply turned his eyes back to the ceiling and Jim turned off the lights, hyperaware of the alien next to him. Eventually his heart slowed down and he grew sleepy, hope still keeping a flame alive in his chest. He begged to whatever deity was up there this wasn’t some hyper realistic dream before falling into a dreamless sleep.


	2. Phascolarctos cinereus

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm back with another chapter because i was too impatient and wanted to post it instead of actually thinking of an upload schedule, this time it's from Spock's POV!
> 
> (Also I've already ran out of title ideas and it's only the second chapter)

This human was particularly strange.

Spock had to admit his knowledge on homo sapiens wasn’t very extensive, there weren’t many Vulcans that studied earth. They had classified it as a planet that was not yet ready for space travel or contact with interplanetary species of any kind. Many Vulcans thought of them as primitive creatures, even if some humans have found their way off earth- some were abducted by other species for experimentation and information. Vulcans had studied them from afar for a while, forcefully taking someone from the planet was not something they condoned.

Whenever they found a human, aboard an enemy ship, or wandering around, they would erase their memories and send them back to earth.

Except when his father met Amanda he had first fallen in love with her (although he was reluctant to admit it). The High Council did not take well to the news of Amanda being pregnant. She was allowed to stay for the nine months that she carried him, before his father had to erase her memory and send her back to earth. When he was a kid, he was often solemn over never having known his mother, but as he grew up and his father raised him in a strict Vulcan upbringing, the feeling faded.

Arriving here on earth, however, made him wonder where she was, if she was safe.

He had been passing by earth, when his ship showed several malfunctions to have occurred. He still had to figure out how that had happened. His engine shut off as he got sucked into earth’s orbit, and he had to set a course for land, so he could land without bringing harm to himself. Following emergency protocol he had managed to land in a relatively desolate place, except there had been one human.

Jim was strange, and his reaction was one he couldn’t comprehend. Spock had expected him to faint, or go into hysterics, but all the human did was yell at him in his native language, seemingly angry. The nature of this emotion had not fit the situation, which had made him simultaneously confused and amused. The blonde didn’t seem to have any malicious intent towards him, his actions actually pointed towards the opposite to be true. There was the instance of him touching his ear, but it had looked more like curiosity and fascination, so he did not hold it against Jim’s person.

The man seemed to be highly illogical, as he kept talking to him even though he knew Spock could not understand him, but he did not mind too much. He had found the Terran male was very aesthetically pleasing to look at. His eyes were incredibly blue, and his hair a color of blonde that looked like it was touched plenty by the sun, as did his skin.

Of course, he was mostly fascinating from a scientific standpoint.

As they had entered what he presumed to be the man’s living environment it had become clear why he had taken him home instead of calling the authorities; he had an affinity for space. If this was true then he must have become excited upon witnessing the events of tonight. He had been hesitant about showing Jim pictures of Vulcan on his PADD, but had found himself strangely swayed by his large eyes. He had filed the phenomenon away to meditate on later. The way his face had expressed such happiness at just the sight of the Vulcan desert and capital city had reminded him of an excited child.

When his PADD had ceased function again he had wanted to sit down and work on the device to further advance their communication, but Jim had lead him to the bed, clearly expecting him to rest. The gesture in itself was endearing, but he had numerous regrets by the time Jim had laid down next to him. The young Terran was now asleep, and had reached out for him in his slumber. Spock had frozen in place, wishing for Jim to take his arm off of his torso. Apparently humans had no control of their actions during sleep, which seemed rather dangerous to Spock. Could they also walk around and perform other tasks? Judging from the lack of precision and finesse in Jim’s movements, it would be rather hard to do anything useful while he were sleeping.

The truth was he didn’t need to rest at this moment, should the need arise, he could do several weeks without sleep, lest he had time to meditate. Of course this was not ideal, and getting a few hours of sleep every night was preferred, but he viewed the repairs of his PADD as more important right now.

He felt the urge to sigh, as he had quite some times since arriving on the planet. His body was rather sore from the crash, and he was lucky he didn’t have any severe injuries. His head rolled to the side to look at the human next to him, who was sleeping soundly. He studied his facial features, and his eyes lingered on his rounded ear. It was the first time he had seen a human in person, and he had to admit the first contact fascinated him. He thought he understood Jim reaching for his ear, as he felt the compelling urge to touch the rounded tip of the human’s ear as well.

The sun started to rise after a while, and Spock decided he should try and get some rest as well. The birds outside had already started chirping, and he had slightly more trouble falling asleep than he would have if the animals had kept silent. He also tried to move Jim’s arm, but it only resulted in the human inching closer, so he left it alone and simply made sure their skin did not make contact.

When he awoke the sun was filtering through the curtains, casting a warm glow on the room and still sleeping human next to him. A glance at the clock told him it was nine in the morning. He wondered how much sleep humans required, and made mental note to look that up later. He hoped they were not like the Phascolarctos cinereus (Koalas, in modern human terms) he had once done a presentation on for school, in first grade. The Phascolarctos cinereus slept 20 hours every day. He did not wish to remain in this position for another 15 hours, nor did he think it would advance their communication process.

He seemed to be fortunate, however, when Jim stirred twenty minutes later.

The human first hid his face from the sun for a good 7.45 minutes, before he took his face out of the pillow and opened his blue eyes. They were even more striking of a color in the daylight- the curtains really did not help darken the room sufficiently. Spock wondered why one would make curtains that did not fulfill their sole purpose. In the short time he had been here he had already encountered 17 things (or people, Jim certainly took up at least three of these numbers) that confused him greatly due to their illogical nature.

Jim said something in English which he did not understand as he withdrew his arm from Spock’s torso, before the blonde sat up in the bed. His hair was sticking up in various strange angles- something that fascinated him. The hair of Vulcans was rather heavy, so it never took much to stay in place, it seemed human hair was different, which made him want to study it more closely. He had not anticipated humans to be so scientifically interesting.

He got up from the bed as well and sat down at the desk again to work on fixing his PADD, so they could communicate properly. Jim seemed to be torn, before trying to tell him something in his animated gestures. When Spock did not get it Jim took the piece of paper of the day before. Jim drew a stick figure that was supposed to represent himself, Spock gathered from the lack of pointed ears, going downstairs to talk and eat with another stick figure which he drew with long hair. Spock assumed it to be a female of his species. He then drew himself going back upstairs with a plate with what he thought was food, to bring it to Spock. Who he drew at the desk with several arrows which confused the Vulcan. He looked at Jim for clarification on the arrows and the human pointed at him and then at where he was sitting. Spock believed he wished for him to stay where he was.

Jim left the room and Spock got back to repairing his PADD, wondering why Jim thought he would leave. He certainly did not think many humans would be as kind to him as Jim was being. It took him 25.53 minutes to find the malfunction in his PADD, before he managed to repair the device. Jim entered the room again another 6.05 minutes later, with a bowl in hand. Spock switched on the translator so they could talk.

“What did you bring with you?” He asked, which startled the human. “Jesus, I didn’t expect any English to come out of your mouth,” he explained his behavior as he set down the bowl in front of him, “it’s called cereal, it’s corn flakes in milk.” Spock looked at the food, having to categorize the questions popping into his mind in a rather rapid pace.

“Why do you call me ‘Jesus’? My name is Spock.” He asked, first.

Jim looked amused, mouth curling into a laugh. Every time the human openly displayed emotion it shocked him a little bit, but he didn’t think it was a negative thing, when Jim did it, couldn’t imagine the blonde’s face to be anything other than animated.

“It’s an expression,” Jim offered as Spock picked up the spoon that had come in the bowl. He hesitantly scooped some flakes and milk onto the spoon and lifted the strange soup to his mouth.

Dear Surak, that was the sweetest thing he had ever tasted. It was not anything short of revolting to his taste buds, and he had trouble keeping his face impassive as he chewed and swallowed. He was certain those weren’t just plain corn flakes, but that they had some processed sugar on them as well.

“It is very sweet.” He said, and the human once again laughed. “You don’t have to eat it, we can get something at the train station later.”

Spock did not waste any time in putting the spoon back down. He was not a fussy eater, but he had never tasted so much processed sugar in one bite of food. And of course there was the issue that processed sugars intoxicated Vulcans in large amounts.

“Why are we going to the train station later?” Spock asked as he watched Jim rummage through his closet. “Well, you see, we’re at my childhood home right now, my own apartment and work is in Washington, D.C.” He watched Jim take out a few articles of clothing as he talked. That explained the childlike room and presence of a female in the house that did not share a room with Jim. He decided now was a good time to ask his questions.

“Why are you doing this?”

Jim strode to the bed to put the bundle of clothes he had collected on it, before looking over at him with the slight tilt of his head as he thought. “One, because I want you to not undergo painful experiments done by the government and two, because I want to ask you a lot of questions. It’s just I can’t have my mom know you’re here, so I’m saving my questions for the 18 hour train ride.”

Jim seemed to be a honest human, at least. “18 hour train rides sound highly inefficient.”

“Well, we can’t all be aliens with fancy equipment,” the blonde pointed out, and picked up a few articles of clothing before giving them to the Vulcan. Spock looked down at the clothes pressed into his arms, and figured he would need to dress to human standards so he wouldn’t attract any unwanted attention.

Among the articles of clothing was a hat, to cover his ears, most certainly. He asked Jim if he could change in private, and the human left the room briefly to give him privacy. He took off his Vulcan robes, slipping into the pants and shirt Jim had given him. His shirt was black and had writing on it that the translator said spelled ‘Punk is not dead,’ which he did not understand the meaning of. He put on the hat last, covering his ears.

“Whoa, you look human!” Jim exclaimed when he walked back into the room.

“I do not know if that is a good thing,” he said doubtfully as he looked into the mirror. Jim appeared next to him in the mirror, laughing. “Ouch, right in the chest,” the human said, a sentence Spock wasn’t even going to attempt to dissect and grasp the meaning of.

It seemed Jim’s mother had left for work, and that the house was now empty so they could leave without having to be silent. Spock took in the living room as Jim got ready to leave, observing its cozy looking furniture and the many picture frames. The old school TV was on, showing what seemed to be the news. He noticed the crash site was being broadcasted on the screen and searched for a way to turn on the sound. He eventually found a remote control and managed to find the right button.

‘-scientists are puzzled as to what happened, they should have been able to see a crash like this coming days in advance. Not only is the phenomenon a strange one, only three small pieces of the wreck have survived, and are now taken to be examined. The black box of whatever the craft was seems to have been completely destroyed. We have an on sight reporter who will tell you more about the fire the explosion caused, John, are you there?’ A reporter appeared on the screen, holding an old fashioned microphone as he stood in front of the spot he had crashed in that night.

“Hey! The crash is on the news!” Came the rather unnecessary exposition from Jim, who joined him in watching the TV.

‘I sure am, this crash caused a small forest fire, but nothing too damaging, the people here are more concerned for the wreck that was found, scientist Emma Dawson is willing to answer some questions-’ Spock watched with interest as the humans interacted, so differently from how news was covered on his own planet.

“This is the regional news, the government will probably try to keep it from spreading to the grand public, they always do with stuff like this.” Jim explained, and Spock tore his gaze away from the screen to look at the blonde.

“Your government partakes in censorship?” He asked, and Jim looked up at him with a smile. “Not as bad as it used to be, but yes, also framing, of course,” he shrugged, ‘we’re not as advanced in politics as you probably are. Hell, humans can’t even get that human rights thing under their belt properly in some places.”

Spock hummed, they were the same observations his species had made about Earth, but Jim clearly had different ideas about the subject than his species. “And you?” He then asked, to try and confirm his suspicions.

“Me? I’m all for equality, everyone’s human, one way or another. Maybe if people started looking at what we have in common instead of what our differences are we’d actually get somewhere as a species. My own kind amazes me with its stupidity often enough.” Jim grimaced, seemingly frustrated by the way things were. Spock hummed, there were clearly humans who did not fit the image Vulcans, and many other intergalactic species had about Terrans.

“What about you then?” Jim asked him, and Spock could see the curiosity shining in his eyes. The human had done well at keeping in the endless stream of questions he probably wanted to ask. 

“My species values logic, above all, and discriminating against a group of people based on physical attributes or the actions of certain radical individuals is illogical.”

Jim looked like he wanted desperately to keep asking him things, but he did not, instead he returned to his task of getting ready to leave. “Gotta make sure we don’t miss the train,” the human murmured. The news had finished airing and Spock took the remote again to find the off button, eventually succeeding in turning off the device.

 

 

“This does not seem very safe.”

They were standing in front of a rusty motorcycle, one that seemed to have left its best days behind it. From the observations Spock had made it seemed Jim was planning to try and carry them both to the train station on this, and Spock decided to take back his statement of Jim being an enlightened individual.

“It got me here, I’m sure it’ll survive one more trip.” Jim said with a broad grin and he handed Spock his bag, before getting on the bike. “Get on.”

“I must protest, this is highly illogical and dangerous.”

“Spock, get on.”

Spock stood stubbornly for a moment longer, but eventually bit back a sigh and got onto the back of the rust covered motorcycle. Several sounds emitted from the bike under their combined weight that concerned him greatly, but it seemed Jim wasn’t planning to pay any mind to it. The motor groaned as Jim started it, and soon they were off, Spock having to grab the back of Jim’s jacket to keep from falling off.

“Do they have motorcycles in space?” Jim shouted, only barely audible through the wind that found its way through his hat and into his ears. “That would be-” “Highly illogical, right?”

Jim’s laugh was only barely audible, but it still made Spock cast his eyes up in the Vulcan equivalent of an eye roll.

The rest of the ride Spock spent trying not to fall as Jim maneuvered around bumps in the road, and looking around at the scenery. Earth was a beautiful planet, Spock had to admit. It was the most green he had ever seen concentrated in one space. It filled him with a childlike wonder, which only made him want to see more of the planet. He had always worked from the Vulcan Science Academy, as he taught several classes and did research there. He had never partaken in a space mission to gather samples before the one that resulted him to crash into earth. He had been filling in for the Vulcan that was originally going to make the trip, since this particular mission didn’t need specialization of any kind. He had not anticipated the malfunctions of his ship, that resulted him getting sucked into Earth gravitational pull. He was now rethinking his career choice, finding this view a factor that might very well get him off his planet more.

 

When they finally arrived at the train station Spock had more or less wrangled Jim’s jacket from holding onto it so tightly, and his heart was beating 0.7 times faster than it normally did. When Jim saw him he laughed. “You look like you’ve seen a ghost.” The blonde chuckled as he carelessly dropped the bike onto the ground.

“Ghosts do not exist,” was his reply, as he tried to smooth out his face and not look like he ‘had seen a ghost.’ He straightened up and pulled his hat down a little more to make sure his ears were covered properly. Jim looked amused as he lead Spock into the station, which was not very busy. “Rural Iowa, no one ever goes here,” Jim clarified, as if reading his mind. “Which is exactly why I can just smuggle you onto the train without anyone noticing.”

Spock was becoming increasingly more wary of Jim’s ideas. “That does not sound like a very good plan.”

“Well, the tickets for the train are expensive and I do not have money for another, so it’s going to have to do,” Jim lead him to one of the platforms to wait for the train.

“Did you not mention you had a job?” Spock inquired, which made Jim look up at him. “Yeah, but I’ve also got debt I’m trying to pay off, so nearly everything goes to that until it’s paid off, I do not want to lose my apartment, which would also be bad because I share it with someone.”

Spock hummed, he wondered what Jim had done to get into so much debt, but didn’t want to impose on him by asking. “What is your housemate like?” He asked instead, making Jim huff softly.

“A grumpy doctor,” was the descriptive response. “I just realize we still need to make up a story for you. Let’s say you’re an old friend of mine that got divorced and needs a place to stay until you get your life together.”

“Vulcans do not lie, Jim,” he informed the human, that looked at Spock with what seemed to be exasperation. “So you want to tell him you fell from the sky- wait, Vulcan? Is that what your species is called?” Spock was quite amazed by the amount of topic switches Jim could execute in the span of mere minutes.

“My planet is called Vulcan, and thus my people are Vulcans.” He offered, which made Jim’s eyes light up as he grinned. He seemed to want to ask more, but the train was approaching the platform.

 “Okay, once we’re on this train I’m going to make you tell me everything,” he said, maybe more to himself than to Spock.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter will be Jim's POV again, and he'll finally get to ask all his questions!


	3. Punk is not dead

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jim is excited and asks a lot of questions

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have returned with a new chapter! It's pretty late now so please forgive me if there's any typos or grammar mistakes.
> 
> I can't wait for Bones to meet Spock in the next chapter oh man
> 
> EDIT: For any of you wondering where I am and why I haven't updated yet, I'm currently studying for final exams and working on my portfolio for art school. Once the madness is over I'll definitely come back to this so don't worry! I just need to focus on this right now and don't have a lot of time left to write.

Jim had had a hard time keeping in all his questions, there was just so much he wanted to ask, that he wanted to know. The image of the red sands had barely left his mind and whenever he looked up at the sky he felt something he hadn’t felt in a very long time; hope. He felt it bloom in his chest, slowly but surely like the stars had kissed him on his forehead and told him they would touch him again. He felt younger, suddenly as stuck in his early twenties as he had been then.

There was so much to explore now, so much to learn and to see and to touch. Who knows how many planets were out there, what forms they could take. When he felt that same childlike wonder that had slowly been seeping out of him these last few years he became a little breathless. It was like coming home.

They found a spot on the train, in the far corner, tucked away and hopefully safe from the ticket controls. “I suggest you get comfortable, it’s going to be a long trip,” he told Spock, taking off his jacket and taking his blanket out of his bag. “I do not think ‘getting comfortable’ is possible in this mode of transportation.” Spock replied, clearly skeptical as he shifted around to try and find a comfortable position to sit in.

Jim laughed, offering Spock the other side of his blanket. The Vulcan seemed to hesitate before taking his offer, spreading the fabric over his lap neatly. As the train started to move Jim was glad they were the only ones in the wagon. Middle of nowhere Iowa, he supposed. It would probably fill out more later. So now was the perfect time to ask his bundle of questions.

“Okay, I hope you’re ready for the most extensive interview ever.” Jim said, shifting a little so he could see Spock better.

“You know I am not allowed to disclose a lot of information you most likely seek?”

Jim rolled his eyes, not having it. “I’m not letting you keep anything of this for yourself, fuck the rules. And if you try to erase my memory or something futuristic like that I will make you wish you crash landed in the sea instead.”

Spock raised his eyebrows, tilting his head. “I have too many questions to formulate an appropriate response.” He said simply, making Jim chuckle.

“All your actions up until now have served to protect me, I find it hard to believe you would abandon your principles to bring me harm.”

Jim watched the sunrays fall on their laps, a golden light that reminded him of his favorite shirt. “Look, Spock,” he started, looking up into the Vulcan’s eyes. “Space is all I have ever wanted to devote my life to. Is all I have ever devoted my life to. I don’t care if knowing these things puts me in danger, I don’t even care if you have to kill me for it- I need to know everything you can tell me. Please, I’m desperate.”

He could see Spock’s brows furrow slightly, but aside from that his expression betrayed nothing.

“Very well,” he eventually said, slowly as if he wasn’t convinced of his answer himself.

Jim lit up however, realizing Spock was going to comply and tell him what he wanted to know.

“How much is out there, how many planets with life forms on them?” He asked in one breath, eyes wide as he waited for the answer. Spock seemed to have expected this question, and he did that near sigh thing again. “As the universe is infinite and ever expanding, it would be pointless to try and calculate the amount of habitable planets out there. Currently we have official contact with five species, and approximately 500 habitable planets in our database.”

Jim was practically vibrating with excitement, “can I see?” He asked, and Spock looked a little taken aback by his eagerness. He got out his hologram device looking around to check for people before turning it on. “And what is that?” Jim reminded himself of a four year old child but he couldn’t help it.

“This is a Personal Access Display Device, PADD for short, it holds information and contacts.” Spock explained, and Jim took out his phone. “So it’s kind of like my phone.” He offered, and Spock took the device, seemingly intrigued. It took him a moment to figure out how to activate the screen, scrolling through the pages. “It seems to have roughly the same functions, even though they are severely outdated.” Spock said, and Jim couldn’t find it in himself to be offended.

“Well, outdated or not, I’m giving you an old phone of mine while you’re here so we can communicate when I’m at work.” He told Spock, pocketing his phone and leaning in to peer at the PADD. “How does it work?” He asked as Spock looked up pictures. The Vulcan explained the inner workings of the device briefly, before pulling up a picture of a planet seemingly covered entirely in ice. “People live there?” Jim felt his mouth part in awe as he looked at it, and gasped when Spock scrolled to a picture of one of the residents. Blue skin, white hair- he must be dreaming.

“This is an Andorian, their bodies have evolved to withstand extreme climates, and so they can live on the moon Andoria on which a temperature reading of -28° is not uncommon during mid-summer.” Spock was barely done talking before Jim replied.

“How do they sustain themselves? How exactly does their biology battle the temperatures? Are their antennas meant for hearing or detecting sound waves? It looks like they live underground, how did they build the underground cities? Is it hard for them to find a light source to light the underground tunnels? Or do they have night vision?”

“Jim, I cannot answer all your questions simultaneously.”

“Is there a fire planet too? Are there fire people?”

“Jim.”

Spock didn’t seem to mind explaining everything to him, however, and told him all about the Andorians before moving on to talking about Klingons, Romulans, Trills and Cardassians. He tried to answer his rapid questions, but Jim wasn’t patient enough at the moment to listen to his in depth explanations, wanting to know about something else already halfway through. Spock also told him about the history of his species, his planet and people, his job, the creatures.

There was so much to know and so much to learn Jim could barely find an end to the stream of questions. The only thing Spock drew the line at was explaining warp technology to him, which Jim could understand. He decided to just leave it and ask about the next subject.

By the time Jim was starting to run out of questions nearly two hours had gone by, and they were close to the next stop, where the train would undoubtedly fill up more. “I wouldn’t have dared dream of all this.” He told Spock, sitting back with a deep breath. “It’s amazing.

Spock hummed, tilting his head. “Perhaps I have become rather blind to the wonders of the universe.” He said, probably more to himself than to Jim.

Once they reached the next stop they were discussing wormholes and how they worked, so they were able to keep talking as the wagon filled up somewhat more. Spock was really nice to talk to, every time Jim thought their conversation would come to an end one of them made another comment that spurred a whole new topic or discussion.

When the evening approached they were still talking, but Jim cut Spock off mid-sentence when the door of the wagon opened to reveal the ticket inspector. “Pretend to be asleep.” He hissed to Spock, pushing the Vulcan’s head onto his shoulder and pulling the blanket over him further. He quickly took his book and ticket out of his bag and pretended to read when the man arrived at their seats.

“Tickets, please.” The man said, and Jim handed him his ticket. “My friend’s ticket is in his bag, I really don’t want to wake him up.” Jim told him with a hushed voice. “He’s been exhausted ever since the divorce came through.”

The man seemed to take pity on Spock, face softening a little. “I know how that feels.” He said with a nod, handing him his ticket back. “Take care of your friend, yeah?” He said before moving on. Jim waited until the inspector had left the wagon before letting out the breath he’d been holding, heart racing in his chest “Holy shit, I’m glad he believed that.” He groaned as Spock lifted his head from his shoulder. “It’s not a good thing to take advantage of another person’s empathy, Jim” Spock chided, to which he sighed.

“Tell me something I don’t know, but I don’t want to get a fine, I don’t have the money.” He said, leaning his head against the headrest. “Karma will probably bite me in the butt later.” He mumbled, to which Spock raised an eyebrow. “Karma is a human superstition.”

“One that has fucked me over several times.” Jim shot back.

“Perhaps those were merely cause-effect reactions to your own behavior.”

“Don’t get sassy with me.” Jim warned, though he was laughing, playfully bumping their shoulders together. Spock seemed unimpressed by him, though he did look a little amused, that’s what he thought anyway.

Jim fell asleep once the night approached, head swimming with all the new information he’d had to take in. In his dream he was younger again, staring up at the stars like he used to do. This time though, there was no disappointment, he felt confident, knowing that all he believed in and aspired were as true as they could be.

“Jim, I believe we are nearing our stop.” He heard Spock say as he awoke due to the Vulcan jostling him. He seemed to have landed on Spock’s shoulder, and groaned softly as he pulled off, regretting the loss of his pillow. “You’re very comfortable.”  He murmured, which only made Spock raise an eyebrow.

Jim checked, and Spock was indeed right, they were nearing their stop. Jim once again thanked the gods for his ability to sleep everywhere, for as long as he liked. It was convenient in university, but also on train rides like these. “Did you survive?” He asked Spock, who seemed to be a bit less well rested. “I attempted meditation, but it did not have the desired effect due to the uncomfortable seat.” He said with a slight frown.

“You can meditate or sleep properly when we’re back at my place.” He reassured the Vulcan, gathering his stuff to put it back into his bag. When the train came to a stop they made their way out, and Jim was glad to be able to stretch his legs. “We got to walk to my apartment.” He told Spock, heaving his bag onto his shoulder as he started walking. “You must be hungry, I’m sorry I didn’t have anything vegetarian with me.” He said apologetically.

“It is alright, you couldn’t have known.” Spock replied simply, clasping his hands behind his bag as they walked.

They talked casually about the things Spock had questions about, and Jim secretly thought the Vulcan looked cute as he took in the city. They were both rather tired from the journey however, even though he really had no right to be since he had slept through most of it.

“Welcome in the apartment of Jim and grumpy doctor.” He said with a grin as he opened the front door. “Doc? You here?” He called, to which there was no answer. “He’s probably at the hospital.” He clarified to Spock, closing the door behind them and putting his bag down on the floor.

“Okay, what would you like to eat?” He asked as they entered the kitchen.

“I have no knowledge on human sustenance.” Spock replied, to which Jim hummed. He had a point. “Well, Leonard didn’t buy a lot of groceries anyway so I guess your choice comes down to bread.” He mused, taking out the bread. “Do you like cheese? Do you even have cheese?”

“I am familiar with cheese, yes. But I have never had it before.” Spock supplied. “Well, glad to pop your cherry then.” Jim mused, to which Spock sent him a very confused look.

Jim figured that saying should be left without an explanation.

“Perhaps I have underestimated the interesting nature of humans. It truly is a peculiar species.” Spock said a while later, as he was eating his food, having insisted on using a knife and fork to eat his bread with for a reason he hadn’t wanted to share.

“Yeah, what’s so interesting about us?” Jim asked, raising an eyebrow as he picked up his chicken sandwich to take a bite. He saw Spock eye his hands as he did but decided to not comment on it. “You appear to be very illogical and emotional, the opposite of my own species.” He said, which made Jim laugh. “Ouch.”

“In the time I have been here, I have had too many questions to properly address, ranging from why one would purchase curtains that do not fulfill their sole purpose, to why one would wage wars over a fictional man in the sky.”

Jim snorted, amused. “Believe me, I don’t even know the answer to those questions, and I’ve lived on this planet for 26 years.”

This caught Spock’s attention. “I had thought you to be much younger, but we are only three earth years apart.”

“That’s a compliment, I think.” Jim laughed, putting his food down to take a sip of water.

“I do not see how age can constitute as praise.” Spock said, obviously confused.

“Here on earth youthfulness is considered attractive, your twenties in particular,” he explained, “so telling me I look younger is considered a compliment.”

“I am considering writing a paper on Terrans once I get back to my planet.” Spock  said as he finished his food. Jim picked up his own to finish as well, amused by the Vulcan. “Well, just ask your questions when they pop up, I’ll answer pretty much anything.”

A little bit of dressing got on his finger as he put his last bite into his mouth, and after he swallowed he quickly closed his lips around his finger to catch it before it dripped down his hand. When he looked up Spock was displaying the most emotion he had in the time Jim had known him. He looked somewhat flustered, trying to look at anything else but him.

He would have questioned him about it if he hadn’t gotten distracted by the slight green hue his cheeks had gotten. “Holy shit, your cheeks are green! Wait- is your blood green?” He talked animatedly in excitement, and Spock seemed to have a little trouble collecting himself. “Vulcan blood is indeed green.” He confirmed, making Jim grin. “Guess we were right about one thing.”

“Humans predicted aliens to have green blood?” Spock asked.

“Well, something like that.” Jim got out his phone in order to show Spock what they portrayed aliens as.

Jim couldn’t tell what Spock’s initial reaction was, but he seemed rather indignant. “You should see the movies humans have made about aliens.”

He seemed to have piqued Spock’s interest with that, and a little while later they were in front of the TV watching Men in Black. Spock had mentioned he had never seen a ‘human motion picture’ before, so this would prove to be interesting.

Watching the movie with Spock was great, his commentary proved to be funnier than the movie itself, which was even more hilarious because the Vulcan didn’t realize he was being funny. He realized he was putting off the talk they would eventually have, the one about Spock leaving. Jim was trying really hard to think of a way to make Spock bring him along. Maybe he could disguise himself as a Vulcan? Or he was going to have to sneak aboard.

“I have found this to be fascinating and vaguely insulting.” Spock said once the credits rolled, watching the names on the screen.

“Glad it wasn’t terrible.” Jim joked, before yawning. “We should probably get to bed and sleep off that train ride.” He proposed, standing up.

“How much sleep do humans need every day?” Spock asked, probably thrown off by his need to sleep again. “Well, eight, usually, depending on how much you do during the day.”

“You have already had eight hours of sleep.”

“Yeah, but my body doesn’t wake up well rested when I sleep on trains.” He explained. “So I still feel tired.”

Spock nodded as he stood. “Very well. Vulcans can function with four hours of sleep every night, lest we meditate effectively. If needed, however, a Vulcan can stay awake weeks at a time.”

He lead them to his room, which was a lot more sober than his childhood room. “That’s really cool.” He grinned as Spock looked around the room. “I don’t really have a spare mattress you can sleep on so I hope you don’t mind sharing a bed with me,” he said apologetically.

“It is alright, Jim, I do not find it very bothersome.” Spock said, halting in front of the window to look outside. It was dark out, and you could look over a good chunk of the city from his window, the city lights twinkling in the night. It was a welcoming sight, one of his favorites, actually. He loved the city, his dilemma was of course that he couldn’t see the stars. All this new information had made hope wash over him again, and looking up at the stars made him giddy instead of sad. He just hoped his heart wouldn’t be broken a second time.

Turns out Spock did not like water, and the notion of a human shower had made him grimace, which Jim found rather adorable. Vulcans apparently showered with sonic showers, however that worked. By the time Spock had exited the shower he looked positively grumpy. It wasn’t obviously visible; no emotion was with this guy, but Jim had the idea he was slowly getting the hang of his subtle expressions. He took a shower after Spock, walking into his bedroom to see Spock wearing the pajamas he had laid out for him.

“I have been meaning to ask, what does ‘punk is not dead’ mean?” The Vulcan asked as he handed Jim the shirt he had been wearing during the day.

“Punk is a subculture from the 70’s, punkers were anarchists and hated pop culture.” Jim tossed the shirt on his desk chair and got under the covers. “Punk is not dead means the subculture is still alive and still wants to break down the current system.”

“Fascinating.”


	4. The Morning After

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The chapter title is the summary basically

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello there!  
> Sorry for the long radio silence, I was extremely busy. But it paid off! I graduated and got accepted into an art school program.  
> I'm trying to get back into the swing of writing, but i'm currently on break so I spend a lot of time reading fanfiction rather than writing it, haha.  
> I don't think the next chapter will be out for another long while (around a month, probably), since I'm going to have a friend over for the summer. But I will try to get something on paper when I can!  
> Hopefully after I'll be able to get back to writing regularly again.
> 
> The chapter is a little shorter than usual, but Bones gets introduced, so I hope that makes up for it! (if you're wondering why Jim calls him Leonard, i'm planning on putting in the nickname later)
> 
> Thank you for your patience!

“JAMES TIBERIUS KIRK,”

Jim shot awake as Leonard’s booming voice carried through the apartment, heart racing due to the sudden interruption. He could hear his friend approaching and sat up in his bed, frowning against the light shining into the room.

“Why the fuck is there a robot in our livin’ room!?”

“Wait- a what?” Jim squinted his eyes, still groggy with sleep as he sat in his bed sheepishly.

“A robot! He’s got weird eyebrows and everythin’!” Leonard was looking very flustered in anger, and Jim realized he was talking about Spock, who wasn’t in the bed next to him, he now noticed.

“God, Jim you can’t just take creeps home and let ‘em wander around! I don’t care how freaky the fuckin’ is, one of these days one of those creeps will take out a machete and there will be no neck left for them to choke!” Bones ranted as Jim headed to the living room, the angry doctor following closely behind him.

Spock was definitely not doing anything suspicious, he was sitting at the breakfast bar studying a newspaper, hat on his head to cover his ears. Except he was holding the newspaper upside down, probably not recognizing the words enough to understand they were supposed to be the other way around.

“Look, doc, this is no creep, this is Spock, he’s an old friend.” Jim tried, to which the man huffed. “I thought you applied the no fuckin’ old friends rule?”

Spock looked positively puzzled, and he put the newspaper down to look at Leonard, who was flushed in anger. “Do humans change color like chameleons?” He asked Jim softly, to which he couldn’t help but laugh. Leonard’s expression didn’t help at all, and Jim really tried to compose himself. The doctor _was_ going a very dark shade of red.

“Where’d you pick up the comedian?” Leonard scoffed, and Jim shook his head. “Look, Spock’s just gone through a divorce and he needs a place to stay until he has his shit together, I offered to take him in.” Jim explained, to which Spock looked at him with disapproval. Or rather, blankly, the only place he could read the disapproval was in his eyes. He wasn’t about to tell Leonard Spock was an alien from space, though, so the Vulcan would have to deal with it for now.

Leonard sighed, some of his anger deflating, he knew what that shit show was like after all. “Whatever, but no loud sex and he doesn’t get my cereal.” The doctor grumbled, still obviously not pleased with the situation.

“I believe you are under the impression Jim and I are engaging in copulation, which is a false one.” Spock commented, to which Leonard looked at him incredulously.

“I don’t get how anyone could fuck you in the first place, I wouldn’t even if you paid me for it.”

Jim sighed, shaking his head. “C’mon guys, don’t be like that, you got to be friends.”

“What is this, sesame street?”

“Jim, what is a Sesame Street?”

Bones raised his hands in defeat before stomping out of the living room. “I’ll be sleeping, don’t bother me for anything.”

Jim watched him leave with some amusement. “Sesame street is a TV program for children,” he said as he turned back to Spock, who was frowning.

“From the limited information I have on human interaction, Leonard did not seem very pleased,” the Vulcan commented.

“Leonard is never pleased with anything,” Jim laughed, walking up to the alien to turn the newspaper around. “You read it like this.”

Spock was silent for a little while. “That would explain why the translator couldn’t read the articles.” Jim grinned, sitting down on the stool next to the Vulcan’s. “So, how long do you have on earth?” He asked, making Spock glance up. The daylight coming from the kitchen window illuminated him in warm glow, a stark contrast with the cool tones he naturally carried.

“On a priority one channel it would take around 8.6 days, considering I am the ambassador’s son, but since I have found accommodation and means to blend in it might take approximately 4 weeks.”

Jim grinned, happy at the news. “We’ll have plenty of time for me to show human culture to you.”

The twitching of Spock’s lips suggested a smile, which only made his own grin wider. Jim decided to make Spock some vegetable soup, standing up to enter the kitchen. “What do you want to see first?” Jim asked as he gathered the things he needed.

Spock hummed as he thought, and Jim could feel the Vulcan’s eyes on him as he worked on the soup. “I would like to see a Koala.” Spock said eventually, and Jim blinked a few times before turning to the Vulcan.

“A Koala?”

Jim was sure that was the cutest thing he had ever witnessed. Spock asking to see a goddamn Koala.

“Yes, I find them to be an intriguing species,” Spock said with a nod, not noticing his internal screaming.

“Well, I’ll have to see at which zoos have them.” He told Spock, pulling out his phone. A few minutes later he sighed.

“They have them at Cleveland zoo, which is six hours away by car. We could make the trip in a few weeks after I get my pay.”

Spock looked pleased at the news.

“Jim! There’s mail for you!” Leonard’s voice came from the hallway. “Good mail or bad mail?” Jim called back, and his friend appeared in the doorway. “Looks like bad mail.”

Jim gritted his teeth, but took the mail without saying anything else. He opened it and quickly read through it, sitting down at the bar with a deep sigh. “They took money out of my connected account.” He told Bones, holding his head in his hands to try an quell the headache that was blooming behind his temples, ignoring the way his heart sunk. “I forgot to fix that.”

“Did they take everythin’ out?” Leonard asked with a frown, walking up to him to put a hand on his shoulder. “Might as well have,” he murmured, putting the letter down.

 “It’s okay Jim, I can cover groceries for a few weeks,” Leonard was too kind for his own good, it only made Jim feel bad about being so dependent on him still.

“May I ask what has happened?” Spock sounded slightly uncertain, and Jim looked up at him tiredly, smiling slightly at the alien even though he certainly didn’t feel like smiling.

“I’ll explain later,” he told the Vulcan, throwing the letter on the ever growing pile. The debts he had buried himself in were stifling, constantly weighing down on him. He worked hard, but it would probably take another year or so to pay them all off, even if most of his income was going there.

“Jim-” Leonard started, but he waved his had dismissively. “It’s fine, let’s work on the soup,” he murmured, working a smile onto his face again. He could feel the doctor’s concerned eyes on him, could feel them burning into the back of his head. “Alright then, call me when you need anythin’,” Leonard sighed before heading back to his bedroom. The doctor always knew when not to push, one of the many reasons Jim loved him.

Spock was looking at him curiously, slightly puzzled. “You are smiling while upset, why?” Jim cut the vegetables, thinking Spock’s question over. “I’m not very good at showing people when I’m feeling bad, I suppose.”

Spock seemed to be thinking about that, seemingly confused. Jim let him think it over as he cooked, shoulders slightly slumped. Sometimes he wondered if life had it out for him, even though that was stupid of him to think, but he couldn’t help it sometimes. Between his crushed dreams, often crippling loneliness and endless debt he hadn’t exactly been happy. Not that he had been, but the abusive stepfathers he could handle as long as he had space. Even if he had no friends and a brother that had left home way before he could. Space really was the only thing that had kept him going all through his life. Jim wondered how he had survived after it had been ripped away from him like it was. The clubs had helped, he supposed, after he’d moved to DC, the music filled him with something other than emptiness and the people had soothed a hand- or quite a few, over his lonely and broken heart.

He shook his head, shaking himself from his self-pity session. The silence in the room hung heavy, especially since they had barely fallen out of conversation since the universal translator had started working again. Once the soup was done he poured Spock and himself a bowl, sitting down across from him. It was then that Spock spoke again. “What happened?”

“Well, I mentioned I have quite a lot of debt, right?” Spock nodded.

“They took money out of my account, that I had put aside to live off of for a while, and now I have basically nothing, which means Leonard has to cover my expenses- again.”

Spock was frowning slightly, looking at him intently. “And this makes you feel bad because you do not want to be dependent on others?” Spock asked, to which Jim nodded.

“Yes, besides, the weight of debt is heavy, it takes a toll on you,” Jim smiled weakly, “seems like you’re getting the hang of this emotion thing.”

Spock bristled, “of course it is still illogical to feel weight when physically there is none.”

Jim laughed softly. “Life is illogical at its very core, is it not?”

Spock’s mouth, which had opened to continue talking about the physics of weight, snapped shut at his next words. “You mean the notion that life has no initial purpose?”

“Exactly,” Jim almost felt bad for the conflicted look on Spock’s face. He took his spoon to take a bite of his soup, watching the existential crisis unfold in the Vulcan’s eyes.

“I will save that thought process for meditation,” Spock said eventually, lifting his spoon to his face.

Jim chuckled, “I have to get back to work tomorrow, so if there’s anything you want to do on a short notice, now’s the time for suggestions.”

“I am intrigued by many things,” Spock said after he had swallowed another bite of his food. “Is there any way I can learn more about Earth history?”

“I know a lot, but the internet knows more.” Jim told Spock, putting the bowl to his lips to chug the last bit of his soup and getting up to grab his laptop. “Google generally does the trick, I also still have some old fashioned history textbooks.”

Jim got his laptop and brought it back to Spock, showing him how everything worked. “I’m going to brush my teeth, I’ll be right back.”

Once Jim returned Spock had opened no less than 68 tabs, had accidentally skyped two people from his contact list, and clicked on one of his bookmarks, ending up in an online store selling sex toys.


	5. Dragon phallus bookmark

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There's a lot of talking

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, hello, I haven't seen you in a while, please put down your pitchforks.
> 
> I'm kidding (I hope, please don't impale me). I'm sorry for disappearing for so long, a lot happened. I had surgery, started school, was emotionally compromised a lot of the time. You know, the usual.
> 
> BUT I've finally found some new inspiration to start writing again, and finally know where the story is headed, so here you have a new chapter! It's quite dialog heavy, so I'm sorry if there's not enough action. 
> 
> I would say it's the calm before the storm.

“Jim, I guarantee the incident with the laptop was a one-time thing,” Spock said when Jim insisted on supervising his internet usage.

 “Spock, you nearly bought a dragon dildo on accident, what if you had actually ordered it? I don’t have the money at the moment,” Jim told Spock, watching him click on a scientific article about a rare species of fish residential to north America.

 “May I remind you that it was your bookmark I clicked on?” Spock looked up at Jim, who seemed to have gained a suspicious amount of red coloring to his cheeks. It was rather endearing, Spock had to admit. He had grown fond of the man he was now living with, even though he didn’t like admitting this fact. Two weeks had passed already since his arrival, and Jim had taken him to see the city on multiple nights after he came home from work. Their nights were filled with discussions about any and all topics, and chess matches. Occasionally Jim would drink a substance he called wine, which made him rather giggly. 

 The truth was, Spock had never felt more at home. And he suspected it was not earth that was making him feel this way. He could feel the genuine connection he and Jim shared, hitting a note deep within his mind. He did not know if the man could feel this as well, and he was not about to ask. Especially as the days passed and his departure grew closer. He did not wish to leave Jim here, not when the man was so clearly miserable with his situation. And yet he had little choice, knowing the Vulcan high command would never let Jim on the planet.

 “I think you’re spending too much time with Leonard, you’re getting sassy,” Jim said, clearly to divert the subject away from his dragon phallus bookmark.

 “Jim, I have spent 2.3 hours in Leonard’s presence since I arrived, of which 2.1 was with you in the same room.”

 “Yeah okay, fair point. Maybe I just really want a dildo shaped like a dragon cock, okay?” Spock had to hold back a cough, nearly choking on his own spit at Jim’s words.

 “I regret bringing this up,” Spock said quickly, feeling his own face heat up. He was still getting used to Jim’s bluntness, especially regarding topics of sexual nature. Said man laughed, slapping him on the shoulder.

 “Speak of the devil,” Jim said, confusing Spock. He looked up to see Leonard enter the room, but failed to see what it had to do with the devil.

 “You two were gossipin’ about me weren’t you?” Leonard’s eyes narrowed between them on his way to the kitchen.

 “Of course not!” Jim lied, though his grin gave it away, defeating the purpose of the non-truth. The doctor rolled his eyes as he made himself a beverage. Spock believed it was the same drink Jim made himself every morning, judging by the smell. Jim and Leonard made some casual conversation. He looked up when Jim’s phone rang, and the man stood up to take the call, walking out of the room with an apologetic smile, leaving him in the room with Leonard.

 To Spock’s surprise the doctor didn’t leave as soon as his drink was made, but walked over to him, taking Jim’s previous seat. It was only then that he noticed how close Jim always sat to him, since Leonard sat further away from him than the blonde man always did, but it still served to make Spock slightly uncomfortable. He was confused about why the doctor would seek out contact, and looked at him blankly in wait for answers. The man then handed him a cup of brown liquid.

 “I know we’re not close, but I just wanted to let you know I understand what you’re goin’ through.”

 

_Oh no_

 

“Jim never told me the details, obviously, but It’s always terrible. I mean, for me, I thought we could work things out, I was hell-bent on workin’ things out, and the next thing she says is ‘I want a divorce’.”

 Spock was already highly uncomfortable, and Jim was probably not going to come back for a while.

 “You think to yourself, how bad did I fuck up that someone wants to un-marry me?” Leonard sighed, and took a sip of his drink. “Of course, that’s just me. Don’t know how it went for you?”

 

_Vulcans do not lie._

 

Spock took a long sip of the drink Leonard had given him, recoiling at the taste but masking his expression carefully.

 “She was, quite extraordinary, golden hair and sky blue eyes, intelligent and in possession of one of the greatest minds I have ever encountered.” He started, pressing his lips together. “But we were from different worlds, there was no way we could stay together without hurting one another, I had to leave eventually, I knew it deep down. When the day came it was devastating.”

 Leonard was frowning at him, and lifted a hand to pat him on the shoulder. “That’s.. Really cryptic, but it sounds like it’s tearin’ you up.. I think it is, anyway, you’re damn hard to read.”

 Spock took a deep breath, casting his eyes down thoughtfully. He had lied, something he had never done before in his life, but perhaps Jim was right. He could not tell the doctor he was an alien species.

 The following twenty seconds were increasingly awkward, but eventually Leonard got up to leave. “Just let me know if you ever want to talk about it, alright?” The doctor said, scratching the back of his head. “I may not like you, but goin’ through a divorce alone is terrible.”

 Spock nodded at the man, “thank you, Leonard.” Said Leonard smiled awkwardly before heading out, leaving Spock alone with the computer and his thoughts.

 When Jim came back Spock couldn’t figure out if he looked solemn or simply thoughtful, “who did you speak to?”

 Jim sighed, sitting down next to Spock, the man ran a hand through his golden hair and looked up at him with sky blue eyes, making recognition tug within Spock’s mind. He did not know what for, however. “Pike, he’s.. A friend, sort of,” Jim explained, but the information didn’t help very much.

“A sort of friend?” He questioned.

 “Well, he’s also an adult that occasionally yells at me, a father figure. Don’t tell him I said that, though.” Jim took the laptop from him, and Spock looked on as the human seemed to order food for them.

 “You do not have a biological father?” Spock asked, head tilting. Jim’s fingers stuttered in their typing, before they flew across the keyboard as swiftly as before. “No, he died in the army, on the day I was born.”

 "I grieve with thee,” Spock said, but Jim waved it off. “You can’t miss something you never had, I’m fine,” he dismissed, and the Vulcan looked at the other male in silence for a while, before he spoke up, carefully watching Jim’s face.

 “It seems this concept would apply to space, as well, and yet you seem to miss that a great deal,” this time Jim’s hands stopped moving completely, fingers hovering above the mouse pad as he stared at the screen, lips thinning visibly, eyes bright.

 “It is okay to miss him, Jim.”

 “That’s ironic, coming from you,” the human snapped, head turning to look at him. Spock didn’t have anything to say to that, as it was indeed true. He could see hurt in Jim’s eyes, and regretted having pried.

 Eventually Jim sighed, visibly deflating, “look, I’m sorry, both of those things are touchy subjects and I lash out when touchy subjects are breached.”

 “You lash out when you are hurt,” Spock concluded, to which Jim’s defensiveness only grew. “Get out of my head,” the man said, and Spock had to suppress his amusement.

 “I am not currently ‘in your head’, Jim.”

 “Touch telepathy is close enough to.. no touch telepathy,”

 Spock knew arguing with Jim- even if his presumption was wrong, would have no effect. “You still have not told me why exactly you have such an affinity for space, and why you are doing a job that makes you unhappy,” he said, to which Jim sighed.

 “I wanted to be an astronaut, worked for it for 20 years, they rejected me.”

 Jim said it in a rushed tone, as if not wanting to go into the subject, trying to avoid the feelings that would come with acknowledging it again. Spock was reminded of himself when he was a child, he would often try to avoid feelings by rushing the words that caused them. But Spock could see that it ate away at him, that every minute he was not up in the sky was one he wasn’t where he belonged. Jim had been born in the wrong time, in the wrong place, and it was clearly wearing on him.

 The words he was about to say died on his lips, as he looked on helplessly when Jim’s jaw clenched and his fingers started their typing again. Spock wanted to take Jim with him, would give him the chance of space travel if he could. The man was a genius, his mind so brilliant it would only contribute to their society. It was lain to waste here on earth, not able to reach its full potential, with no one listening to him.

 But he knew it was not possible, he knew he could not take Jim with him.

 “What are you ordering?” He asked instead, knowing nothing he could say would make things right.

 “I’m ordering sushi,” Jim said, and Spock looked at him in confusion. “Sushi?”

 “It’s raw fish and rice squished into things,” Jim explained, and he wasn’t sure if the disgust showed on Spock’s face, but by Jim’s laughter he had to assume this was the case.

 “May I remind you I am a vegetarian,” Spock said eventually, hoping he would not have to come near any of those small abominations now portrayed on Jim’s laptop screen.

 “There’s vegetarian options, Spock, don’t worry,” Jim reassured him as he placed his order.

 “How… fortunate.” Spock said slowly, not sure if he meant that or not.

 

 

“I’ll have to take you with me to the club this friday, my colleagues and I go dancing from time to time, and this is the perfect opportunity to introduce you!” Jim said excitedly as the man opened his box of food while Spock looked at his own with apprehension.

 “The club?” Spock questions as he opened the lid and looked for utensils to eat with. When Jim presented him with two sticks he looked at him in confusion.

“I find once again there are too many questions I want to ask simultaneously.” Spock said as he took the sticks, trying to figure out which way of using them would be correct. It seemed stabbing would be most efficient.

 “Clubs are a place you can dance, drink and have fun,” Jim explained, too focused on his own food to notice Spock’s struggles.

 “It does not sound like a place I would particularly belong,” Spock pointed out, stabbing his small abomination with one of the sticks, the only thing the piece of sushi did, however, was fall apart. “This way of eating is highly inefficient, how am I supposed to pick it up when it falls apart when I attempt to do so?”

 Jim looked up then to inspect the mess he had made of the rice and the cucumber inside. He could tell the human was trying not to laugh at him. “You hold them like this, Spock,” Jim managed eventually, holding up his hand and demonstrating how to hold the sticks and the sushi. When Spock struggled further, Jim got up and walked over to him.

 Spock had to recite several codes of Surak in his head to refrain from jumping in surprise when Jim grabbed his hand, caressing his fingers as he positioned them on the sticks. The touches sent electricity through his body, fingers twitching. He was struck in place, unable to move or speak. He feared that if he spoke now he would show the emotions that were coiling inside him on his face. Beyond the hum of pleasure Jim’s touch caused, he could feel the man’s vibrant mind, could discern a few fleeting thoughts. They were mostly about his poor use of the chopsticks, coated with amusement.

 Jim’s mind felt so right against his own, he could feel the tug from within so strong it almost frightened him, unsure if he could resist the pull. Luckily the control of his mind was not tested, and Jim’s hand fell away soon enough, when Spock realized he had not heard a word of Jim’s explanations and had not paid attention to his demonstration. “Thank you, Jim,” he managed, hand suddenly cold and body suddenly so empty without the sparks Jim had caused.

 He tried to pick up one of the sushi pieces by himself, now managing to grasp it between the pieces of wood. His mind was still buzzing with what had just happened, it having gone too fast to properly comprehend it while it had been happening.

 “Jim, I must warn you again that I am a touch telepath, touching me unexpectedly gives me access to your thoughts and emotions.” He managed, eyes meeting Jim’s. He did not want to take advantage of Jim’s mind, no matter how admittedly good it felt to have near his own.

 “Oh, shoot, I keep forgetting,” Jim said, softly hitting his forehead with the palm of his hand. “Sorry about that,” he said sheepishly.

“It is of no consequence,” Spock reassured, deciding to not alert Jim on the sensitivity of Vulcan hands: he would prefer to spare himself the embarrassment.

 Finally he managed to place a piece of sushi in his mouth, at first rather appalled by the texture, but as he chewed he grew to like the taste.

 “This is not as revolting as I thought it to be,” he said eventually, making Jim laugh. The human’s laugh held as much vibrancy as his mind, and while Spock still wasn’t quite used to the emotional displays, he could not help but think Jim’s laugh was beautiful.

 “See? I told you so,” he said, rather smugly, as he took one of his own sushi pieces into his mouth.

 

 

That night Spock had trouble getting to sleep, which was quite a rare occurrence for him, his mind kept trailing back to their meal, and the touches Jim had caressed his hand with. It had not been the first time he had been kissed, but it had never felt that way, like his whole body was not only alive but thriving on the touch.

 Eventually he got out of bed, leaving Jim alone in the sheets as he wandered to the living room, opening a window to look up at the sky. The light pollution hid most of the stars from sight, but Spock could still deduce the approximate position of his home planet, he did not know how long he stood there, watching the still bustling city below- there weren’t many stars to look at.

 “Can’t sleep?” A voice came from behind him, and his head turned as Jim joined him.

 “Affirmative.”

 Jim nodded, leaning his head on his arms as he gazed out of the window. “Do you miss Vulcan?”

 It was a question Spock had to think about for a while, but eventually he did answer. “No, while I do miss certain comforts that come with being on my home planet, I do not desire to be back at this time.”

 “I understand,” Jim said simply, and the words made his heart feel heavy in his side, which was illogical, since his heart had not gained any mass.

 “Tell me about space,” Jim said, as if inquiring to a loved one he had not seen in a long time. “What’s it like being up there?”

 “It is.. It is quite lonely,” Spock said eventually, “and rather empty.”

 Jim chuckled solemnly, and Spock’s gaze shifted to him. “Between your solar system, and others, there is a vast emptiness, no stars that can be seen with the naked eye. At warp space shifts around your ship- quite like the fabric of It is making room for you. And after this vast nothingness it is beautiful to enter another star system, and have your vision be filled with stars unfamiliar to you.”

 Jim’s eyes looked suspiciously damp, worrying Spock slightly, but the man simply shook his head, “continue, please.”

 “I had been alone in a craft, and at certain points of my journey the only sound there was, was my breathing and the faint hum of the machinery. It was like existing in nothingness, quite like we always do, except experiencing It up close was part exhilarating and terrifying- it was what I imagine death to feel like.

 There was a brief silence between them, as Jim’s eyes closed in a pained manner. Eventually the man laughed softly, even though there was no joy in the sound. It unnerved Spock. “God, it hurts, Spock,” he murmured, “to know that I’m so close.”

 “Why did they reject you?” He asked, if there was anyone fit for space travel it seemed to be Jim was the perfect fit.

 “Too many allergies, not mentally stable enough,” Jim said, voice bitter.

 “You seem very mentally stable to me,” Spock said, surprised, to which Jim laughed. “You haven’t seen the most of me, Spock,” he said, reaching out to pat him on the arm. The short sleeves he was wearing allowed Jim’s skin to come into contact with his own. The grief that washed through him at the momentary touch made his breath catch in his throat.

 Momentarily Spock was enveloped in Jim’s emotions, strong and potent and oh so bittersweet. His desire to see and to feel what it was like in space was so strong the need almost felt like it was his own. The way his heart clenched with need, Jim’s imagination feeding the already undeniable beauty of space.

 “I grieve with thee,” Spock said for the second time that day, except this time his voice was unsteady.

 Jim let his hand fall away when he realized what he had done, and his face looked slightly guilty. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to make you feel that.”

 “It is alright, Jim,” Spock said, straightening up. “You should attempt to sleep, your alarm will go off in precisely 4.5 hours.”

 “Not the least of sleep I’ve gotten,” Jim joked, Spock did not see the humor in his statement. Instead he urged Jim back to bed, not letting up until they were both in bed again.

 “Thank you, Spock.”

 “What for are you expressing your gratitude, exactly?” He asked, to which Jim simply smiled into the darkness of the room.

 “Telling me about space, about these worlds I would have never known about if not for you.”

Spock felt a little nauseous as he thought about how Jim deserved to know so much more, how he should be able to experience it for himself.

 “I shall share whatever I can with you, Jim,” he said, not able to drive the solemn tone out of his voice.

 Even though Jim’s deep breathing usually calmed him to the point of sleep, that night he could not find rest, instead his mind was trying to find ways in which he could help Jim get off earth. It was illogical and dangerous, quite like Jim himself, but he could not help it. He was determined to find a way.


	6. The loneliest road

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jim takes Spock clubbing with him, but before the end of the night his life is flipped upside down when he decides the Vulcan is more important to him than anything he's known.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! I'm back with a new chapter. And quite an intense one at that.
> 
> I really hope you enjoy it and the direction this fic is taking, because I certainly am. I already have half of the next chapter written, so I'll make sure not to leave you guys hanging for too long this time!
> 
> Thank you for sticking around!

“I heard you’re bringing someone tonight,” Uhura’s voice made Jim look up from his lunch, which he had been eating with his friends in the cafeteria.  

 “Jealous?” Jim asked, eyebrows raised.

 “Just surprised,” Uhura’s dark eyes rolled. “You never seemed to have any friends outside of us and that doctor that tags along sometimes.” Her posture was relaxed as she leaned against the lunch table, and Jim was once again reminded of how gorgeous she was. He had genuinely hoped he’d get to buy her a drink when he first started working here, but over time his propositions simply turned into jokes, to the point where it had now become a regular thing between them. After all this time he could barely imagine them as anything other than friends.

“Excuse you, I’m a very social person,” Jim huffed indignantly.

“Alright, prince charming, whatever you say,” Uhura snorted, when Sulu piped in. “What’s he like?”

Jim hummed, “he’s a little odd, but I hope you’ll all like him nonetheless.”

“If he’s odd in yer eyes, I’m scared,” Scotty murmured between bites of food.

“Does he have a lot of weird kinks or something?” Uhura asked with a raised eyebrow.

Jim snorted, he could barely imagine Spock having sex, never mind him having a bunch of kinks.

“Nope, that’s my thing,” he said, ignoring the unified looks of ‘we did not want to know’ in favor of talking, “he’s just a little socially awkward and is cold all the time.”

“Well, I’m sure we’ll get along, you’re all a bunch of crazy people, anyway,” Sulu mused, to which the rest protested.

“Not as crazy as you that time you had too many shots,” Chekov pointed out, and Sulu glared at him. “You’ve only been eighteen for a few weeks, don’t get cocky now.”

Jim snorted, shaking his head. “I’m going back to my calculations, have fun arguing,” he mused, swallowing the last of his food. “I’ll see you tonight.”

 

Jim retreated back to his desk, really hoping the interaction between Spock and his other friends would go over smoothly. Granted it may not be the best idea to take Spock clubbing, but it had been and to a point still was such a big part of him he’d felt he needed to show it to his friend.

Getting to know the alien had been such an amazing experience, he didn’t think he’d ever met someone with a mind (and if he were honest with himself, body)  as beautiful as Spock’s. Being with him made being on this shitty dust rock so much more bearable. He purposely didn’t think about Spock leaving, buried it deep into the back of his mind.

Uhura had told him he looked happier, and he was terrified of it being true. If Bones thought anything of it he had yet to say anything. Somehow the doctor knew it wasn’t up for discussion. Somehow Bones always knew.

Jim sighed, focusing on his calculations again.

 

 

“You are dressed quite provocatively,” Spock commented when Jim was checking himself in the mirror. The dry commentary made Jim chuckle and shake his head. “That’s what the nightlife is for, Spock. He was wearing pants that looked like leather but were a different fabric and a lot more manageable in reality. On top of that he was wearing a mesh tank top. It was like going shirtless without actually being shirtless and being _that guy_. It was perfect.

“You are quite pleasing to the eye,” Jim’s head snapped up in surprise, staring at Spock for a few seconds, who just stood there as if he hadn’t just told Jim he looked hot. In his own Vulcan way, anyway.

“Wow, did you just.. Tell me I’m hot?”

Spock blinked, “I was under the impression you knew that your physical attributes are above average.”

Jim wasn’t sure what to say to that, wasn’t sure how to explain the complex social cues of flirting, knowing Spock probably didn’t even intend to in the first place. To him voicing those thoughts was probably just logical.  
  
“Well, uh, thank you,” he managed eventually.

He had dressed Spock in a black turtleneck and pants, knowing he’d want to have as much skin covered as possible. The beanie still sat on his head to hide his ears, and Jim hoped it would stay on during the night. Not that people would think he was an alien even if he did show his ears, they’d probably just think it was some kind of costume. As long as the Vulcan didn’t sling anyone across the room with his supernatural strength they should be fine.

  
“You look very pleasing to the eye as well,” he said after a small while of silence, amused smile curling at his lips.

 

 

The bass of the music rattled through him the moment they stepped into the building. The feeling was all too familiar, the nightlife was where he’d sought refuge from himself, after all. He could remember all too well, drowning his self-loathing in the alcohol, music and sex. 

And the fights.

The nightclubs had a way of making you forget the world outside, a place where nothing was too real and nothing could turn out too bad. Not the reality, of course, but it had been enough. It worked sometimes, but in the long run it hadn’t brought him anything besides trouble. He liked to think he clubbed responsibly now. He was sure Spock would disagree, but then again, Spock deemed a lot of things that he did irresponsible.

“I already dislike this place,” Spock said, disdain easy to read on his face as Jim lead them to the bar, where his friends were sitting. Or well, it was easy to read for Jim, as he’s gotten used to the subtle expressions on Spock’s face. He never pointed them out, however, knowing Spock would pay extra attention not to do it if he knew.

“It’ll grow on you, promise!” he said with a grin, leading Spock to the group by the bar.

“Hi guys!” he shouted over the music, “this is Spock!”

His commentary probably wasn’t necessary, but none of his friends seemed to mind as they greeted Spock.

“Hey, where’s Leonard?” Sulu asked Jim, noticing the doctor wasn’t with them.

“He had to work a night shift,” Jim sighed, still disappointed about not being able to do shots with the doctor.

“I would advise not to drink too much, as it has proven to give you headaches in the morning,” Spock told him, to which Sulu laughed.

“Why are all your friends like that, Jim?” the man asked, eyes shining in amusement.

“Shut up and watch out for the little Russian devil, will you?” Jim laughed, nodding to Chekov, who was nursing a glass of vodka.

 

Jim took Spock dancing, convincing the Vulcan by telling him at the very least it would be good for research. Spock looked good under the lights, his hair reflecting the neon and his skin just looking a tinge more green in the light. An illusion, of course, but somehow Jim thought it suited him. He wondered if Vulcans tanned green.

“I do not know how to dance,” Spock shouted over the music, and Jim laughed with a shake of his head. “You just move your body to the music!” He swayed his hips to demonstrate, arms moving in any and all dance moves he could think of. Spock looked a little uncomfortable, and Jim took his hands to help him along.

“Come on! Like this!” He grinned, manipulating Spock’s arms so they were moving to the music. The sight of the Vulcan standing as still as he could while his arms were all over the place was very funny. Spock looked flustered, probably from the embarrassment as he tried to mimic Jim’s movements, his dancing looking so incredibly clumsy Jim wanted to just hug and squeeze him.

“You’re doing great!” he said anyway to encourage his friend.

Spock’s dancing seemed to get less stiff by the minute, though Jim wasn’t really surprised, the Vulcan seemed to be talented at everything he did, mastering everything from puzzle games to dancing. Jim wondered offhandedly if Spock had gotten a lot of propositions back at Vulcan, if he were this good at everything he must also be very good at sex.

Bad train of thought Jim, stop that.

After a while they were dancing together as if they’d been doing it for years, like they played chess and talked like they’d been doing it for years, anything they did seemed to come with so much ease. Spock seemed to be enjoying himself, for as far as Jim could tell, his face was still very stoic. He threw his arms around Spock’s shoulders, swaying them with a bright smile. He had to say Spock had done a better job at keeping him somewhat sober than Leonard always did. Probably because the doctor could never say no to a shot or two.

Jim would be lying if he said he didn’t feel the electricity between them, but he wasn’t sure if it was just him being the hopeless romantic that he was or if there was actually something there. They seemed to fit together like two puzzle pieces, but Jim was well aware of the fact Spock would be leaving. Not that he wasn’t going to try anything to come with. He honestly couldn’t imagine life going back to the way it was before, he didn’t want to imagine it. Didn’t want to accept how mundane it would become, how much his failed dreams would sting.

The prospect weighed heavy on his heart, and suddenly some of the joy drained out of him. He saw Spock flinch slightly, and realized the Vulcan could probably feel that. He smiled apologetically before taking Spock’s hand and tugging him through and out of the crowd and outside. The summer night tasted heavy on his tongue and he decided to pick a fine curb to sit on. Spock sat down next to him and they stared into the street in silence for a while as pedestrians passed and the music from the club throbbed faintly in the air.

“What do you think of dancing?” Jim asked, evading the subject that was hanging above his head.

“It is.. an interesting activity,” Spock said, “I had thought it to be worse than it is, however.”

That made Jim chuckle, and they sat in silence again as Spock seemed to be struggling to find something to say. The humidity was strong in his lungs, and momentarily he was reminded of summer nights in Iowa.

“Were you always sure that you wanted to go to space?” Spock asked eventually, catching Jim off guard.

“Well, yes.” He said, messing with a pebble on the street using the sole of his shoe, “I mean, you always ask yourself what the fuck you’re doing once in a while when you’re trying for something as impossible as I was.”

He sighed, kicking the pebble so it rolled across the street. “Most of the time I was so incredibly sure, some other times I debated if I shouldn’t just become a farmer or some shit.”

“A farmer?” Spock questioned.

“I mean like, just do something normal, that doesn’t require you to sell your soul and life away to a company that might not even want you- like they didn’t want me. But every time I doubted I would right myself, saying that it would work out and that I would hate myself if I didn’t follow my dreams.” He laughed bitterly, “not sure if I don’t hate myself more now.”

Spock looked concerned, and he forced a smile on his face to reassure him. He didn’t know what to say to make things alright, didn’t know what to say about the fact Spock would be leaving and he would probably fail sneaking aboard his ship. He genuinely didn’t know what he would do left alone on earth, didn’t know if he’d rather have his memory erased to spare himself of the pain or if he’d want to remember and keep thinking of Spock until the day he died, having lived his mediocre life looking at space from earth. He could already imagine the mornings he’d sit at the kitchen counter and stare at the spot Spock would have been sitting if he were still there. How he would laugh at the ghost of his friend as if he was still here and how he would reach out to pat him on the shoulder only to feel air.

“Sorry for being a downer, I guess I just don’t want you to leave.”

The understatement of the year, everyone.

“I would prefer to be with you as well, Jim,” Spock said, making Jim smile lightly.

“Anyway, I dragged you out here for both fresh air, and teaching you how to bounce rocks off a curb,” Jim said with a grin.

“That sounds quite useless,” was Spock’s dry commentary.

“Just like physics, if you think about it too hard, now pick a rock, Spock.”

 

Jim taught Spock how to bounce rocks off a curb, and within no time the Vulcan had mastered the skill, and gathered a crowd of drunk people who were very impressed. Spock seemed confused about all the attention he was getting by his rock throwing skills, but it made it even more funny when the crowd hollered enthusiastically whenever Spock would do a particularly fancy throw. Jim was almost hurt when they didn’t cheer for his rock throw, but had to admit it was way less impressive than Spock’s was.

Eventually the crowd dispersed and Spock had enough of chucking rocks at a curb. He suggested they go back inside, where his friends seemed to have spread throughout the club. They eventually sat down at the bar, since Spock looked like he didn’t want anyone too close to him at this point. Jim risked the stern look from Spock for another drink, knowing the Vulcan wouldn’t want one.

The Vulcan instead opted for a glass of water, keeping a close eye on him as he drank. “You make me feel like a kid doing something dangerous,” Jim mused after a while of being under Spock’s scrutiny. “You are a kid doing something dangerous, James,” Spock said, but Jim could see the quirk of the Vulcan’s lips, which could have almost been mistaken for a trick of the eye under the flashing lights.

“Okay, not fair,” Jim huffed, eyes narrowing, “how am I supposed to argue with you when you use my full name?”

The Vulcan had noticed calling him James when he was doing something stupid, would often shut him up. He was just so weak for the way it fell from the alien’s lips, and would often times give in. Spock took advantage of this fact, of course. The sneaky bastard, acted all innocent and clueless, but before you knew it he had the upper hand in the conversation.

They talked for another while, and Jim had managed to scoot closer to Spock, with the excuse he couldn’t hear him otherwise, of course. The way Spock’s lips brushed against his ear as he spoke into it made the hairs on the back of his neck stand up. When Uhura passed them she gave him a knowing look, and shouted something about crawling onto Spock’s lap if he got any closer. He simply stuck out his tongue at her, but it only caused her to laugh as she headed off with her drinks.

 

When the night was coming to a close he spotted something in the corner of his eye that made his stomach curl with disgust, and he rose to his feet a little too quickly, considering the drinks he’d had. He managed not to stumble as he strode to the man who’d just slipped something into a drunk girl’s drink. “What the fuck do you think you’re doing?” He shouted at him, taking the now dangerous drink from the counter and splashing the contents onto the man. He had a grimy face, and tiny eyes and a tiny nose, it reminded Jim of a snake. The man’s lip curled in anger as he wiped at his face, whole front wet with the alcohol. The girl looked at the man with a seething expression on her face, fist curling.

“You spiked my drink!?” She rose to her feet, but was a little too drunk to deliver the punch she threw at him properly. He blocked the hit and was clearly planning to strike back when Jim punched him in the face.

A bunch of other men doomed up from the crowd, clearly part of the scheme, and it seemed Jim had managed to anger not one, but seven dangerous men. He readied himself for a fight, eyes shifting as he looked for a way to take them on without ending up dead. For a moment everything was still, before hell broke loose. He fought off three of the men before being overpowered, and a heavy punch in the gut had him coughing for air. He lost track of who’s hands were who’s, and everything became a blur of punches. Then, as if out of nowhere he was free from the hands grabbing at him and the leather of their jackets pressing against his skin. He heaved as he held his stomach, looking up what had caused them to let him go.

Two of them had ended up across the room, already, and his eyes fixed on Spock just in time to see him hurl another into the wall. The crowd had dispersed to make room for the fight, and Jim’s eyes widened at the extent of Spock’s strength. His hat had fallen off in the brawl, and by the time the last of the men was unconscious the situation had doomed on Jim. His head snapped up to scope out the security cameras, and took wheezing breaths as he made his way over to Spock as fast as he could. The Vulcan caught him, holding him up with gentle hands, and he could see the words ‘we must attend to your injuries’ form on his lips, not loud enough to be heard over the music. He shook his head, and took Spock’s hand in his, dragging him to the exit the best as he could. By the door Uhura met them with widened eyes, and he grabbed the front of her shirt to pull her close. “Distract the police long enough so we can get away before they call the higher ups,” he yelled into her ear, and she nodded, face having turned to determination instead. “When you come back you’re going to explain,” she yelled back, but turned on her heel to look for the rest of their friends to pass along the message. His breathing was ragged as he dragged Spock to his car, pushing the man into the passenger’s side before getting in.

The loud growl of the engine roared as he pulled out of the parking lot, pushing down the gas pedal as he sped through the streets of D.C. He handed Spock his phone, without taking his eyes off the road. “Text Leonard these words exactly,” he gritted through his teeth as he tried to keep his vision from spinning in front of him. He shouldn’t be driving, both with the alcohol and his injuries, but Spock wasn’t acquainted enough with driving cars for the difficult task ahead.

“All I’ve got left are my bones.”

He heard Spock tap away at the phone screen, and Jim rolled down the window once the alien had handed him his phone back. He glanced down to see the text and his text conversations with his friend. He pressed his lips together and squeezed his eyes shut with pain for a brief moment before throwing his phone out of the car window. He asked Spock to do the same, before taking his GPS and chucking it out as well before rolling up the window again.

“Jim..” Spock started softly, and Jim simply shook his head, jerking at the steering wheel to take them out of the city. “Don’t even dare to say you’re sorry,” he gritted, “if you hadn’t stepped in I would be dead.”

“You’re throwing away your life,” the Vulcan shot back, but his voice was shaking slightly underneath his resolve. “Turn this car around, I shall turn myself in to the authorities.”

“Don’t you fucking _dare_ , Spock!” Jim yelled, speeding up the car as he turned onto the highway, “there’s no telling what they’ll do to you! They’ll torture the information out of you! They might kill you!”

 “You’ll be a wanted man for helping me flee them,” Spock’s voice was slightly raised, and Jim was sure that if he were to look the Vulcan’s face would betray his emotions.

“I’ve told you before I’ve devoted my life to space, and so my life’s devoted to you, as well!” Jim knew Spock wouldn’t buy it, that the alien would know that space wasn’t the reason he was helping Spock escape the horrors that awaited him should he be captured.

Spock didn’t respond, and Jim knew he’d won, knew that Spock had understood.

“I’m not losing you.”

Jim's murmur was lost under the engine’s throttle as he switched gears.

 

 

 

“It’ll probably take them about three to four hours to figure everything out,” Jim murmured, “from the mysterious crash in Iowa to the events at the club, they’ll piece together the puzzle. And then it’ll take one or two more to start their search for us. We’ve been driving for about two hours, by the time they’ll start searching we’ll be on route 50 already.” His hands gripped the steering wheel tighter in an effort to keep from passing out. “I threw out everything they could track us with, switched my license plate- they’ll have a hard time tracking us.” Jim murmured. “I still have a fake ID for myself, hopefully that’s enough.”

“I probably should not ask you why you had a spare license plate and ID already,” Spock said, and Jim chuckled softly, “no, probably not.”

“May I ask what our destination is?” The Vulcan asked him, and Jim hummed. “As far away from D.C. as we can get, for now I’m taking us to the west coast, we just have to avoid them for a few more weeks until the rescue ship comes to pick you up. You’ll be safe then.”

“Should I not find a way to take you with me..”

Jim laughed, though there was  no joy in it. “They can torture me all they want, I’ll tear their little branch of government down from the inside,” Jim gritted through his teeth, and Spock’s lips pressed into a thin line.

His vision blurred, and he had to blink rapidly to keep his eyes open.

“Jim, pull over,” Spock said sternly, and Jim shook his head petulantly.

“Pull over!” The shout was loud in the car, and Jim had never heard Spock raise his voice so loud before, even during their argument before. He pressed his foot down on the breaks, steering them to the side of the road. Spock got out of the car and walked around to the driver’s seat, helping him out. He coughed, his bruises blooming with pain. Spock laid him down on the passenger’s seat, hands gentle as he took his shirt off to look over the bruises on him properly.

“I’d hoped you’d undress me in a different context,” Jim flirted lamely, grin weak.

“Jim, I would prefer it if you, in the words of doctor Leonard, ‘shut up.’”

Once Spock had made sure there was no internal bleeding, and just a huge amount of bruising, he closed the door to the backseat and got into the driver’s seat.

Jim had a hard time keeping his eyes open, body relieved at finally being able to lie down. The streetlights flashed over the interior of the car and his body at regular intervals as Spock drove, illuminating his bruised chest and the dark sky. He turned his head to look at Spock, his steely gaze on the road in front of him, hair and face bathed in the yellow light every few moments.

“Sleep, Jim,” the Vulcan’s voice chided gently, eyes glancing back at him with warmth in them. Then again, maybe that was the light’s doing. His eyes fell shut, feeling the hum of the car under him even as everything turned black.


	7. Blurred stars

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't even have an excuse this time, I'm so sorry for leaving you all hanging for so long! I haven't had the energy to sit down and write a whole chapter for a while.  
> Just know that I haven't given up on the story and I will continue it.

When he awoke they were still driving, and the sun was already in the sky. 

“Spock?” He murmured sleepily, rubbing at his eyes.

“I am here, Jim,” Spock said in reply, and Jim smiled as he sat up in the backseat. He looked out of the window to try and determine where they were. “I used the map in your glove compartment to navigate to route 50, we’ve been on it for a hour and thirty-seven minutes,” Spock explained, and Jim nodded. He told Spock to pull over so they could switch, considering he’d sobered up.

Spock did so with moderate amounts of protest, but Jim knew Spock wasn’t used to driving for such long periods of time, his leg must be cramping up. His own body hurt all over, and his head was throbbing with his hangover, but he was lucky that he hadn’t drank as much as he usually would have.

The clock on his dashboard told him it was about 10 AM, and his stomach growled. They probably weren’t anywhere near a rest stop, so they’d have to hold out without food for a while. Spock sat down in the passenger seat and Jim put on his seatbelt before heading off again, pulling onto the road and going a little too fast probably. But they’d lost some time due to Spock’s meticulous safe driving, and Jim didn’t want them to catch up to them before they could get to one of the big cities. It was always easier to hide among a crowd. It was tourist season too, which would make it that much easier to blend in.

“I’m sorry,” Jim said softly with a sigh, “If I’d just thought before acting- I could have prevented all of this.” He tapped on the steering wheel, glancing at his bloodied knuckles.

“It came from a good place, Jim,” Spock reassured him, “you saved that girl with your actions.”

“I could have called the police, I could have asked people to help me apprehend him before storming in like an idiot,” he sighed, looking at the long road that stretched before them. It was silent between them for a while before Spock spoke up.

“I could have warded them off more discretely, and ensured that we wouldn’t have to flee, but at the moment they started hitting you I momentarily-”

“It’s alright, Spock.”

“Then it is alright for you too, Jim,” Spock said, and Jim had nothing to say to that.

“I do wonder, what does ‘all I’ve got left are my bones’, mean?”

“It’s what Leonard told me after his wife took everything from him in the divorce,” Jim answered, “he’ll know I had to leave for one reason or another, I’m sure he’ll hear something from Uhura. He’ll probably straight up punch me for all of this when I see him again- if, I see him again,” A solemn feeling gripped at him, and he focused on the hills in the landscape in front of them.

He always realized too late that sacrificing himself cost not only himself but also the people around him.

“You will see him again,” Spock said, voice unwavering.

A smile pulled at his lips and he nodded, looking over at the Vulcan. “Now, are you ready for the most epic road trip ever?” He asked with a grin.

Sure they had no food or water with them and it would be hours until the next rest stop, and sure they had no music since his old car had no radio and he had had to throw their phones out of the window.

What they did have, however, was each other, they had the hum of the car beneath them and they had the view and the nice weather. Jim’s car was an old red convertible from 1962. Ancient, some would say, but he took good care of it, and for trips like this it was perfect. He rolled down the top, laughing as the wind blew their hair in disarray. Spock looked a little less enthused about this fact, but Jim simply cheered and pressed his foot down on the gas pedal, making a race against time the best experience he possibly could.

It was well past noon when they reached a rest stop, and Jim bought more food than he probably should have with their tight budget. He was just really, really hungry. He also got Spock a baseball cap, since the beanie had been lost in the fight. It had a route 50 patch on the front, which made the Vulcan look like a tourist. Which was probably a good thing. Before doing all this, however, he’d pulled a spare shirt out of his trunk to change into, since the mesh tank top he’d worn before wasn’t very suitable in this situation. 

Spock was looking at him with vague amusement on his face as he ate, like a starved man. Which he was, in his opinion. Jim needed his breakfast. Spock himself ate carefully, and seemed to need less food than him in general. “I have just about enough cash with me and in my car to get a full tank of gas and provisions for on the way, after that we’re on our own,” Jim grimaced, “I’ll have to puppy eye some food and gas off of people on the way.” He looked up at Spock’s unenthused face.

He already knew this was going to be a continuing struggle ethics wise.

The diner they were currently in had a rich atmosphere, and was bustling with tourists who’d clearly stayed in the motel close by. The red interior made it a classic American diner, probably designed this way to draw in tourists. The whole place looked quite worn, however, especially the seats. Jim paled considerately when their faces appeared on the news on the little TV screen hung up near the bar. “Shit,” Jim cussed, ducking his head down as he peered up at the screen. There was no mention of them being wanted for being an alien and an accomplice, of course, instead they were murderers on the loose.

Jim felt anger rise in his chest, fist clenching. The bastards. Their faces were probably all over the news through all of America. They needed to get back on the road before they were recognized. For him they’d taken the photo in his official documents, for Spock they luckily only had a pixelated photo from security cameras at the club. Thank god no one was paying special attention to the TV at the moment. He finished his plate as quickly as he could and chugged his water, Spock doing the same after having noticed the TV. He got up after leaving money on the table and headed for the exit with a bowed head, and quickly bought a baseball cap of his own in order to hide his hair and eyes. He filled the car with gas and paid with his last money before hurrying back to his car. Soon everyone would have seen their faces on either the news or social media. He wondered bitterly what crime they’d made up for them to have done.

The thought of his mother watching the news and seeing him as a wanted man for a gruesome murder made him sick to his stomach, but he tried not to dwell on what the look on Joanna’s face would be once she scrolled down Facebook on her phone that morning. Leonard’s daughter was a good kid, and had looked up to him. He hoped the doctor would tell her that murder wasn’t what he was wanted for. They had probably already searched their apartment, and he hoped that they would leave Leonard alone. They would be able to make no sense of his text to the doctor, and considering they hadn’t had any more contact the night he’d left.. He was suddenly incredibly glad he hadn’t told Leonard about Spock, it would have only endangered him.

He felt a hand on his arm, which made him snap back into reality, and realize he needed to switch gears under the throttle of the car. Spock’s hand didn’t leave, but instead, his thumb rubbed soothing circles into his skin. A sense of calm washed over him, and his tight grip on the steering wheel relaxed somewhat.

“It’s good you took your PADD with you to the bar, it would have been trouble if they’d gotten their hands on it,” Jim said, trying to avoid the silence.

“We would have not been able to communicate without it, since it holds the universal translator.” Spock replied, logically.

Jim rolled his eyes, he’d figured Spock wouldn’t get his attempt at small talk.

“Talk to me,” he prompted, finally, tapping his fingers on the steering wheel.

“About what?”

“Anything, Metaphysics, those weird sonic showers Vulcan apparently has, your mom, just talk to me.”

Spock must have heard the desperation in his voice, because he complied.

“My mother, she was human.”

Jim nearly slammed on the breaks in his surprise, pulling over to the side of the road to look at Spock with wide eyes. “ _ What? _ ”

Spock seemed surprised by Jim’s outburst, tilting his head.

“You just now figured you should tell me that?” Jim asked in disbelief.

“I did not think it was of any importance,” Spock admitted.

Jim sat back in his seat, shaking his head. “I can’t believe you. Only you would think telling me that humans have been off earth before isn’t of any importance.”

“There’s a few dozen humans in space, most of them abducted or taken on accident,” Spock elaborated, “my father fell in love with my mother- even though he will deny this fact, and my mother became pregnant with me. The high council allowed her to have me before erasing her memory and sending her back to earth.”

Jim frowned, starting up the car again as he digested that information. “That’s cruel,” he said eventually, to which Spock had no reply. “Do you know where she lives?” Jim asked as he started driving again, and Spock shook his head.

“I only know she was called Amanda.”

“If only you’d told me sooner, I could have helped you find her,” Jim said softly. Now, now he had nothing, and absolutely no means to help Spock find his mother. 

“I have accepted that I will never meet her, Jim, do not feel burdened,” Spock’s voice was barely loud enough to carry itself to him over the roaring of the wind. Jim was silent as he watched the scenery fly by, going way over the speed limit. It really was a good thing that this was the loneliest road in America.

 

The atmosphere had only grown heavier, and Jim cursed himself for his lapse of judgement. He wished they had music to drown out the silence, but there was nothing but the wind and the engine under them. Jim shifted in his seat, his back already sweaty under the sun.

 

Another day of driving lead them to the side of the road, not having enough money for even a cheap motel, Jim settled for a particularly soft patch of sand. He didn’t want to sleep in the car, not this night. He yearned for the comfort of the stars, which were shining brightly with the lack of light around them. Barely any cars had passed in the time they had lied there, they truly were alone.

He’d told Spock he could take the backseat if he wanted, but the Vulcan had insisted on staying by his side.

Jim had a hard time falling asleep, even with how exhausted he was. The stars above him blurred from time to time, but always managed to sharpen again. He could hear Spock’s even breathing next to him, barely audible above the sound of the cicadas. He sighed softly, and could hear Spock shift next to him. “You are unable to sleep?”

Jim looked over at the Vulcan's concerned face, giving a tired smile. “Just have a lot on my mind, is all.”

Spock took some time to speak up again, simply looking at him as if he was a puzzle he couldn’t quite crack. “Jim, I do not want to leave you behind.”

The words were like a punch to the gut, and he quickly looked back at the sky in an attempt to hide the emotions showing on his face. He didn’t know what to say to that, he didn’t know what he could say that would fix this.

“I know,” he said eventually, hoping it would provide Spock with at least some comfort.

“Jim, look at me,” Spock’s voice was gentle but firm, leaving no room for arguing. He closed his eyes briefly before rolling onto his side, looking at Spock. Their faces were close, and it took Jim by surprise for a moment. He hadn’t realized how close they had been until now.

“I have never really belonged anywhere, I was always too human for Vulcan, even my own father disapproved of me,” the vulcan looked to be having some problems talking about this, so Jim stayed silent.

“It was only when I met you that I felt like I had found a home. That the emotions that I, even if I am reluctant to admit they exist, have felt my whole life are not wrong.” The alien took a deep breath, and Jim could see the turmoil swirling in Spock’s brown eyes. His own heart was beating faster, never having thought he would hear these words.

“What I am trying to say is that, should I not be able to take you with me into space, I wish to remain here with you on earth.”

Jim’s breath hitched, and for a moment he was convinced his heart had stopped. His head was telling him why it wasn’t possible, why he shouldn’t agree, why he should say no. But his heart, his heart seemed to not be listening. 

The next few moments were a blur, and Jim was almost convinced his rational mind had left him. The next thing he knew the breath was knocked out of him as their lips met halfway, his arms around the Vulcan as they kissed, half on top of him. Spock’s lips moved with precision, but Jim could tell he had never done this before. It somehow made the moment even sweeter. His hands bunched up in Spock’s shirt, pressing as close to him as possible. He never wanted this to stop, he didn’t want Spock to leave, not without him.

The truth was that Spock was home for him, too. He had never belonged on earth, not really, he’d always felt out of step with everyone. But when he met Spock things just seemed to fall into place, like this is what he had been made for. And there was nothing he could do to fight it, not really.

“I will never take that away from you,” Spock said softly once their lips parted.

Jim flushed, having forgotten the fact Spock had been able to hear his thoughts.

The Vulcan's lips twitched in amusement, a rare display of emotion. He took Jim’s hand in his, before pressing two fingers to his own. “This is a Vulcan kiss,” he shared, and Jim looked at the gesture with a smile on his face. He was sure it didn’t have the same effect for him as it did for Spock, but it felt warm.

“I’ve wanted to kiss you for a while,” Jim admitted, raising a hand to brush along Spock’s jaw and cheek.

“I have to admit I’ve also felt these.. Attractions, to you, for a while.”

Jim couldn’t help but laugh at Spock's choice of words, laying his head down on Spock’s chest and closing his eyes. His mind was still full of worries, but to know that Spock was willing to stay with him, even through the danger it might pose, was enough to ease him into a sleepy lull.

“Sleep,” Spock said softly, a hesitant hand moving up to rest on his head, “we will talk more in the morning.”

**Author's Note:**

> If you liked this chapter please leave a Kudo and a comment! It lets me know people actually enjoyed this and I'd love to hear your feedback!


End file.
